A Break Up Can Be Devastating; How To Get Through The First Days

Your reaction to a break up is very dependent on your personality type and how strong the relationship was. For some people simply picking up the pieces of their broken heart and moving on is the answer but for others it will take a lot of work - especially if the goal is to get the ex back.

As human beings it is in our nature to love others. Living and loving is what we do. Some of us are very free with our feelings and share them quickly. For others it takes a lot to get us to open up and share ourselves.

It seems that for that group of people a break up can often be even more devastating than for most people. Perhaps you fall into that classification. I know I do.

I love people but in order for me to really let someone see the real me, the me that is on the inside, I have to have strong feelings for them. And when I decide to open up my heart to someone I feel very vulnerable.

I guess that goes back to my first love. Okay, I know now that it was only a teenage love that would never had lasted but when it ended I was totally devastated. At the time I thought I was with the person that I would spend the rest of my life with.

Funny how time changes things! Anyway, lots of boyfriends and two husbands later I know that that loss was not a loss at all.

So I guess I am giving away my age here, but I have also raised four children, which are all grown now. So obviously I have dealt with not only my own but also the heartaches of my children as they were growing up and finding their significant others.

Well, my advice may not be the traditional but it is what I have found to work. When a break up first happens you are justified in feeling badly. Whether you do the breaking up or you get the axe break ups are hard. After all, you have opened to that person and shared intimate moments.

I say it is fine to let your grief and sorrow out but only for a day or two. After that you simply must focus on the rest of your life. For one thing, you can be grateful that you are feeling sad about a break up and not a death. You see, with a break up there is always the possibility of a make up.

I am not saying that every relationship should be saved but almost every one could be saved if approached correctly. So take a couple of days, or take a few days for your grieving. Eat your favorite comfort foods and cry when you feel like it. Do what makes you feel good.

Expressing your sadness is a good thing. The bad thing is that many times friends and family members are not as helpful as they would like to be. In fact, it seems that in many cases they seem to say and do exactly the wrong things. You will need to be patient with them and realize that their intentions are good.
But after a few days you really need to get a gripe on moving forward. Start by assessing the situation and consider what you need to do in order to move forward.

I always suggest that working on you is the absolute best start no matter what the circumstances are. Get yourself in good shape both physically and mentally. Be good to yourself. Treat yourself special in some way. If you like to read then go buy yourself a good book. If you like candles and soft music then indulge in that.

Self development can be a wonderful tool at a time like this. Do some research online. Take the time to work on yourself and to thoroughly evaluate where you are in life and the relationship that ended. This will help you make rational decisions about what your next step should be.