While all relationships can sometimes be difficult to manage, perhaps it is relationships that begin with a pairing of two different cultures that require the most attention care – at least in the beginning, to keep things running smoothly. Have you ever considered the many differences there are between people where you live and people in other parts of the world? In some cases the differences are minimal, but in others they are huge.
And that of course can have a direct impact on a relationship between two people from two different parts of the world. Some of the major differences or concerns relate to such topics as views about women and their role in society.
Other concerns include religion, sex, children and issues surrounding the children. For instance, views about education, discipline, and even the diet they will eat or the language that will be spoken in the home, can be a major issue.
Other topics of concern relate to views about medical care – or rather, the acceptance of medical help and things like what is acceptable in a particular culture when it comes to displaying signs of distress or pain. Some cultures are more concerned than others with the time. In some cultures it is not always acceptable to make eye contact or to shake hands.
This article is not meant to teach about various cultures, but rather to simply provoke thoughts about the increasing number of cross cultural relationships and the bridges that must be laid in order to make those relationships work. Perhaps your dream partner lives in another part of the world. If so, are you willing to do the work required to establish and maintain the relationship that you’ve always wanted?
While you may begin your relationship online, obviously there will come a time that either you will move forward with meeting and solidifying the partnership, or you will make the decision that the relationship does not have the potential to last. But if it is worth working for, where will you live and which cultural traditions will be practiced during the wedding, holidays, and funerals? When it comes to kids, what will happen if the relationship doesn’t work out? Will you be separated from your little ones by an ocean and thousands and thousands of miles?
Intercultural relationships can and do work – and in fact, many of them seem to be happier than others. Could this be because the couple works harder at making the relationship work or is it the differences between the pair that make the relationship as wonderful as it is? I think this is a very interesting topic and I intend to explore it. I will probably dedicate a website to that purpose. Please let me know if you think this topic is interesting!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
How to Convince Your Spouse To Work At Saving Your Marriage
When your partner seems minutes away from packing their bags — or you’re living separately already — convincing him/her to save your marriage can seem next to impossible. If you take a step back from the situation, though, you can see that there are realistic options for changing the mind of a spouse who’s about to walk out. Here are some strategies that may get your partner to come around.
Fake it ‘til you make it!
It’s a common strategy for business and other areas of social like, but acting “as if” can work for marriages, too. It works so well because how we act has a major influence both on how we feel and on how others see us. For a while, try forgetting that you have anything but a perfectly blissful marriage and treat your spouse accordingly. Now, that’s not going to be so easy if your partner’s still bitter and liable to pick a fight. Still, you can take advantage of those times when things are going well to try to see your spouse as the person you were deeply in love with when you decided to get married.
Be reasonable!
Whether you want you spouse to join you in marriage counseling or just try out a few tips you picked up from a book, you’ll have more success in winning them over if you don’t push. Threats, guilt trips, and begging are more likely to push your partner away than give you any success convincing a spouse to save a marriage. Instead, use a calm logical approach that taps into the underlying regard you spouse most likely still has for you or at least for the children. Statements like “With everything we’ve invested in each other, don’t you think it’s worth a try to save it?” or “Wouldn’t you rather be able to tell the kids we tried everything?” can help.
Address the problems!
When convincing a spouse to save a marriage, promises to change ring pretty hollow unless you can back them up. If you expect your spouse to believe you’re not going to repeat certain mistakes in the future, give them a real reason. This is especially important if you’ve had an affair or you’re struggling with an addiction. For instance, if you’ve started counseling to resolve an addiction that you’ve never dealt with before, your partner has a reason to believe things will get better.
Take care of yourself!
The stress and low mood marital problems naturally bring about can leave you feeling like you just don’t want to do anything. For your own sake, though, don’t give in to that feeling or you’ll only make yourself feel worse and drive your spouse farther away. Make sure you’re eating right, getting enough sleep, and not cutting corners on personal grooming. Stay on top of your responsibilities like finances and home maintenance.
Convincing a spouse to save a marriage isn’t always easy, but it can be done. The most important thing you need to do is stay calm, stay upbeat, and actively look for solutions to the problems between you. If you need more advice on convincing a spouse to save a marriage consider marriage counselors but don't forget that help can be as close as an ebook on the topic. Check out the sidebar for suggestions.
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Fake it ‘til you make it!
It’s a common strategy for business and other areas of social like, but acting “as if” can work for marriages, too. It works so well because how we act has a major influence both on how we feel and on how others see us. For a while, try forgetting that you have anything but a perfectly blissful marriage and treat your spouse accordingly. Now, that’s not going to be so easy if your partner’s still bitter and liable to pick a fight. Still, you can take advantage of those times when things are going well to try to see your spouse as the person you were deeply in love with when you decided to get married.
Be reasonable!
Whether you want you spouse to join you in marriage counseling or just try out a few tips you picked up from a book, you’ll have more success in winning them over if you don’t push. Threats, guilt trips, and begging are more likely to push your partner away than give you any success convincing a spouse to save a marriage. Instead, use a calm logical approach that taps into the underlying regard you spouse most likely still has for you or at least for the children. Statements like “With everything we’ve invested in each other, don’t you think it’s worth a try to save it?” or “Wouldn’t you rather be able to tell the kids we tried everything?” can help.
Address the problems!
When convincing a spouse to save a marriage, promises to change ring pretty hollow unless you can back them up. If you expect your spouse to believe you’re not going to repeat certain mistakes in the future, give them a real reason. This is especially important if you’ve had an affair or you’re struggling with an addiction. For instance, if you’ve started counseling to resolve an addiction that you’ve never dealt with before, your partner has a reason to believe things will get better.
Take care of yourself!
The stress and low mood marital problems naturally bring about can leave you feeling like you just don’t want to do anything. For your own sake, though, don’t give in to that feeling or you’ll only make yourself feel worse and drive your spouse farther away. Make sure you’re eating right, getting enough sleep, and not cutting corners on personal grooming. Stay on top of your responsibilities like finances and home maintenance.
Convincing a spouse to save a marriage isn’t always easy, but it can be done. The most important thing you need to do is stay calm, stay upbeat, and actively look for solutions to the problems between you. If you need more advice on convincing a spouse to save a marriage consider marriage counselors but don't forget that help can be as close as an ebook on the topic. Check out the sidebar for suggestions.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Life's Lessons, Personality Traits, And Relationships
All throughout life we meet interesting people. Some touch our life briefly and others stay forever. Have you ever wondered why some relationships seem to last and other wither away? In fact, some last only for a moment, others die slowly, and some end abruptly. But what do you gain from those relationships that do not last?
I know there are times that you would claim those people were not worth having in your life because they brought sorrow, stress or trouble. But other people that you have left behind - or that have left you behind, brought good into your life.
If you really consider all things you are likely to say that all people that have impacted your life have done so in a meaningful way. Whether it was for the good or for some other purpose, if you use the interactions as lessons in life, all relationships are meaningful.
I know this sounds corny but it is true, life has a way of presenting us with lessons. Most of those lessons come from people around us. Either we can listen and learn or we can go on making the same mistakes again and again and feeling that we must be missing something. That feeling is usually correct - and what we are missing is an appreciation for what we can be learning along the way.
Personal development works hand in hand with creating a great relationship. If you work at making yourself a better person in whatever way you can you are likely to develop traits that attract others. At the same time you are becoming more self confident in a way that enables you to get more out of life and relationships.
The old saying, "Live and learn" can be used in various situations but when it comes to relationships there may be no truer words. If the relationship is one that you want to last you will need to listen to what life is teaching you about others. Things like honesty and commitment are usually high on the list of important qualifications. These are characteristics that can be learned. The more you practice them the more natural they are to you. The same is true of having positive thoughts. If you make an effort to replace every negative thought with a positive one you are well on your way to becoming a more positive person.
While formal education has its place, the real lessons, the necessary ones can be learned through observance, interpretation, and practice. Life's lessons can be hard but they are always valuable. Take heed, incorporate the needed changes into your life and you as a person and your relationships will benefit!
I know there are times that you would claim those people were not worth having in your life because they brought sorrow, stress or trouble. But other people that you have left behind - or that have left you behind, brought good into your life.
If you really consider all things you are likely to say that all people that have impacted your life have done so in a meaningful way. Whether it was for the good or for some other purpose, if you use the interactions as lessons in life, all relationships are meaningful.
I know this sounds corny but it is true, life has a way of presenting us with lessons. Most of those lessons come from people around us. Either we can listen and learn or we can go on making the same mistakes again and again and feeling that we must be missing something. That feeling is usually correct - and what we are missing is an appreciation for what we can be learning along the way.
Personal development works hand in hand with creating a great relationship. If you work at making yourself a better person in whatever way you can you are likely to develop traits that attract others. At the same time you are becoming more self confident in a way that enables you to get more out of life and relationships.
The old saying, "Live and learn" can be used in various situations but when it comes to relationships there may be no truer words. If the relationship is one that you want to last you will need to listen to what life is teaching you about others. Things like honesty and commitment are usually high on the list of important qualifications. These are characteristics that can be learned. The more you practice them the more natural they are to you. The same is true of having positive thoughts. If you make an effort to replace every negative thought with a positive one you are well on your way to becoming a more positive person.
While formal education has its place, the real lessons, the necessary ones can be learned through observance, interpretation, and practice. Life's lessons can be hard but they are always valuable. Take heed, incorporate the needed changes into your life and you as a person and your relationships will benefit!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Music And Your Relationships
Music plays an important role in many of our lives, but does it have an impact on our relationships? Some of us include music daily, whether it is done by listening to our favorite songs and artists on the radio or by creating our own music, or anything in between. It’s no wonder then that we associate the music we are enjoying to what is going on in our life.
Many couples have a song that they call ‘their song’. This may be the song that was playing when they met or perhaps it was on during a special event. The point is that the song itself has significant meaning to the couple. During the happy times of the relationship the song will usually bring about warm feelings and even a renewed sense of love and gratification. But what happens when the relationship is withering away or is gone and the song is heard?
Well, for starters, many people will become sad because the song does invoke memories of a happier or better time in their life. Others may feel anger because the song reminds them of what they are missing and they feel cheated. I think the reaction depends on how special the relationship was and how it ended and on the individual’s personality.
Of course that subject is not quite as complicated as this one; is there music that affects your emotional state no matter what the situation? Perhaps there is a particular song that puts you in a happy or good mood. This could be a song that you associate with your childhood, a special person, or a special time in your life. It could simply be a song that you enjoy so much that you forget everything else for those precious moments and escape from the world around you.
What about songs that have a negative impact on your emotions? They may also remind you of past times or a special person. What do you do with the emotions initiated by these songs?
Remember that your emotional state can have a direct impact on how you communicate and interact with others. This includes your partner. My final questions are, if we know a particular song will cause us to feel sad or angry should we avoid it? And if a song makes us feel good should we listen to it daily to insure that we will have a better day?
Sometimes it’s the little things in life that make the difference. If we surround ourselves with the things we love and enjoy we are bound to be happier. This can include what some may call the small and unimportant things such as fragrances, décor, lighting, inspirational art and accessories, and finally music. When we’re happier we are a better partner and friend. That makes working at these small things important.
Many couples have a song that they call ‘their song’. This may be the song that was playing when they met or perhaps it was on during a special event. The point is that the song itself has significant meaning to the couple. During the happy times of the relationship the song will usually bring about warm feelings and even a renewed sense of love and gratification. But what happens when the relationship is withering away or is gone and the song is heard?
Well, for starters, many people will become sad because the song does invoke memories of a happier or better time in their life. Others may feel anger because the song reminds them of what they are missing and they feel cheated. I think the reaction depends on how special the relationship was and how it ended and on the individual’s personality.
Of course that subject is not quite as complicated as this one; is there music that affects your emotional state no matter what the situation? Perhaps there is a particular song that puts you in a happy or good mood. This could be a song that you associate with your childhood, a special person, or a special time in your life. It could simply be a song that you enjoy so much that you forget everything else for those precious moments and escape from the world around you.
What about songs that have a negative impact on your emotions? They may also remind you of past times or a special person. What do you do with the emotions initiated by these songs?
Remember that your emotional state can have a direct impact on how you communicate and interact with others. This includes your partner. My final questions are, if we know a particular song will cause us to feel sad or angry should we avoid it? And if a song makes us feel good should we listen to it daily to insure that we will have a better day?
Sometimes it’s the little things in life that make the difference. If we surround ourselves with the things we love and enjoy we are bound to be happier. This can include what some may call the small and unimportant things such as fragrances, décor, lighting, inspirational art and accessories, and finally music. When we’re happier we are a better partner and friend. That makes working at these small things important.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Dating Can Make You Nervous!
Dates are fun, right? Well they should be but sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves that it is hard to relax and enjoy the date itself.
Let me set the scene for you. You are finally going out on the date that you have been looking forward to. You have planned for this date and you want it to be special. The closer it gets the more nervous you become. You spend a ridiculous amount of thought in deciding what to wear. You worry that something will go wrong before the date is over. Dating can be stressful and nerve-wracking.
Consider this fact, at this point all you have done is prepare for the date. With that stress and nervousness going on it will be hard to enjoy yourself.
Let's talk about this for a moment. First of all this date could be with your longtime partner or it could be with someone you have never met before or even an ex from your past. It really doesn't matter what the exact circumstances are, what does matter is that you are anxious about the date.
Dating should be fun and enjoyable. You need to find ways to relax yourself about the date. Perhaps you could watch a silly movie or listen to some of your favorite music before the date begins. Do something that makes you feel good and eases any tension that you might feel. You could have one drink, but only one. That might be enough to ease some of the stress you are feeling.
You have selected your clothes ahead of time. Obviously you should be comfortable with your choice. You will of course take care with all your personal hygienic needs and anything else that makes you feel better about yourself. Perhaps a little cologne will add a nice touch.
In most cases you will already know where you are going and what you will be doing. That should help you feel a little better about things. You can plan ahead of time for small talk that you can make about where you are going. Never discount the conversation topic of the weather. We all have to deal with the weather.
Now let's talk about your nervousness. Try to determine what is causing your anxiety. Perhaps you are afraid that you and your date will not enjoy your time together. If that is the case then you may decide to end the date a little early. As I said, dating should be fun and enjoyable. If you or your date are not having fun the date can always be ended early.
If you are worried about not having enough things to say to each other then you should prepare ahead of time. Think about things that interest you. Ask your date questions. Almost everyone loves to talk about themselves. Be sure to add interesting comments about yourself as the conversations continue. This is a great way to learn more about each other. Ask open-ended questions and not yes and no questions. That will force a real response from your date. Then you can create conversations around their responses.
To keep things stress free I suggest that you play little games with yourself. For example, before your date you can choose a word that you will use as often as possible throughout the date. Make a challenge to yourself to use that word in appropriate ways as often as you can without your date noticing what you are doing.
This will give you something to focus on besides your nervousness. After a short while you may completely forget about any stress or tension that you felt earlier and realize that you are having a great time.
Let me set the scene for you. You are finally going out on the date that you have been looking forward to. You have planned for this date and you want it to be special. The closer it gets the more nervous you become. You spend a ridiculous amount of thought in deciding what to wear. You worry that something will go wrong before the date is over. Dating can be stressful and nerve-wracking.
Consider this fact, at this point all you have done is prepare for the date. With that stress and nervousness going on it will be hard to enjoy yourself.
Let's talk about this for a moment. First of all this date could be with your longtime partner or it could be with someone you have never met before or even an ex from your past. It really doesn't matter what the exact circumstances are, what does matter is that you are anxious about the date.
Dating should be fun and enjoyable. You need to find ways to relax yourself about the date. Perhaps you could watch a silly movie or listen to some of your favorite music before the date begins. Do something that makes you feel good and eases any tension that you might feel. You could have one drink, but only one. That might be enough to ease some of the stress you are feeling.
You have selected your clothes ahead of time. Obviously you should be comfortable with your choice. You will of course take care with all your personal hygienic needs and anything else that makes you feel better about yourself. Perhaps a little cologne will add a nice touch.
In most cases you will already know where you are going and what you will be doing. That should help you feel a little better about things. You can plan ahead of time for small talk that you can make about where you are going. Never discount the conversation topic of the weather. We all have to deal with the weather.
Now let's talk about your nervousness. Try to determine what is causing your anxiety. Perhaps you are afraid that you and your date will not enjoy your time together. If that is the case then you may decide to end the date a little early. As I said, dating should be fun and enjoyable. If you or your date are not having fun the date can always be ended early.
If you are worried about not having enough things to say to each other then you should prepare ahead of time. Think about things that interest you. Ask your date questions. Almost everyone loves to talk about themselves. Be sure to add interesting comments about yourself as the conversations continue. This is a great way to learn more about each other. Ask open-ended questions and not yes and no questions. That will force a real response from your date. Then you can create conversations around their responses.
To keep things stress free I suggest that you play little games with yourself. For example, before your date you can choose a word that you will use as often as possible throughout the date. Make a challenge to yourself to use that word in appropriate ways as often as you can without your date noticing what you are doing.
This will give you something to focus on besides your nervousness. After a short while you may completely forget about any stress or tension that you felt earlier and realize that you are having a great time.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Call You; Use An Underhanded Approach
Getting in touch with an ex is not always easy. It seems that you are between a rock and a hard place; you want to talk to him but you do not want it to appear that you are chasing him or that you are desperate.
I know how it feels after a nasty break up when all you want is to hear the voice of your ex. You are longing to call him but at the same time you do not want to because you do not want to seem as if you are chasing him. But you cannot get him out of your mind! It is a vicious cycle!
You want him to call so badly! Well there is a way to get him to call. But it does take some planning. Do not worry though, this is a simple technique and it works almost every time!
Okay, first of all you need to set up a scenario in which you can thank your ex for something. It can be anything at all. Now this may not be for the person that plays it straight by the books so if that is you then you may want to stop reading now.
I suggest that you come up with a white lie. Okay, I know a lot of you do not want to lie and I do not usually like to lie either, but drastic times call for drastic measures! Your lie can be about flowers, your grass being mowed, your newspaper being brought up to your doorstep, snow being cleaned off your windshield, do you get the idea yet, what I am suggesting here is that you come up with something, anything that is not too major and if at all possible, it should be something that would have been in for your ex to do.
Believe it or not the lie is the hard part. Once you have a convincing lie all you need to do is leave an email, a text message or a voice mail that says you want to thank him. Now you of course want to say a little more than that. You want to be convincing. In your message mention that you were surprised and how much you appreciated what he did, but do not explain what it was; you do not need to be too specific, the point is to arouse his curiosity.
The ebooks listed in the sidebar can provide lots of great ideas related to ways to get your ex to communicate with you - even more than that,they will teach you how to get your ex back into your life permanently. Check them out!
I know how it feels after a nasty break up when all you want is to hear the voice of your ex. You are longing to call him but at the same time you do not want to because you do not want to seem as if you are chasing him. But you cannot get him out of your mind! It is a vicious cycle!
You want him to call so badly! Well there is a way to get him to call. But it does take some planning. Do not worry though, this is a simple technique and it works almost every time!
Okay, first of all you need to set up a scenario in which you can thank your ex for something. It can be anything at all. Now this may not be for the person that plays it straight by the books so if that is you then you may want to stop reading now.
I suggest that you come up with a white lie. Okay, I know a lot of you do not want to lie and I do not usually like to lie either, but drastic times call for drastic measures! Your lie can be about flowers, your grass being mowed, your newspaper being brought up to your doorstep, snow being cleaned off your windshield, do you get the idea yet, what I am suggesting here is that you come up with something, anything that is not too major and if at all possible, it should be something that would have been in for your ex to do.
Believe it or not the lie is the hard part. Once you have a convincing lie all you need to do is leave an email, a text message or a voice mail that says you want to thank him. Now you of course want to say a little more than that. You want to be convincing. In your message mention that you were surprised and how much you appreciated what he did, but do not explain what it was; you do not need to be too specific, the point is to arouse his curiosity.
The ebooks listed in the sidebar can provide lots of great ideas related to ways to get your ex to communicate with you - even more than that,they will teach you how to get your ex back into your life permanently. Check them out!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Want To Keep Your Relationship Strong; Keep Your Problems To Yourself
A relationship is built around love and trust. Learning when not to talk about problems in the relationship can keep it strong and maintain that trust.
Getting frustrated with the people in your life is natural. As much as we would like to avoid it, it is inevitable that we will sometimes be annoyed or frustrated by something our partner does. Sometimes it is the little things and sometimes it will be bigger issues.
You may find that your partner leaves a coffee cup sitting on the counter each morning. Although you have asked repeatedly the cup is left there daily. Maybe your partner regularly forgets to give you phone messages regardless of their importance.
It could be anything really. Whatever it is about your partner that irritates you, large or small, should only be discussed between the two of you.
It is easy and somewhat natural to call a friend and compare notes about what goes on in your relationship to theirs. However you should be very careful about what you say. Complaining about your partner to someone else can definitely lead to trouble.
Remember that you are talking negatively about the person you love. This is the person that you have planned spending a lifetime with. In order to respect that person you should have regards for how they would feel if they knew what you were saying.
Obviously your mate may not care if you tell a friend about a coffee cup being left out. But there are many issues that he or she might care about. Consider how you would feel if your partner told friends and relatives about some of the little (or big) things that you do that are annoying.
Be sure to sign up for your free report that will show you ways to build a strong and lasting relationship, one step at a time! The sign up form can be found in the sidebar.
I know you are close to perfect but surely there are at least one or two flaws that could be mentioned. Nothing good could possibly be gained from sharing that sort of information with people outside of the relationship. Your friends and family members are probably not qualified to give unbiased opinions. Neither can solve your problems.
So by sharing information about your partner that should not be disclosed you will only create a lesser image of your partner in the eyes of the people you confide in. They may begin seeing your partner in a less than admirable way. This cannot help your relationship with your partner and in the end it could even damage your relationship with your friend.
Surely you can see that the issues should be worked out between the two of you and not be shared with others, unless of course, your partner does not mind you sharing such information. However, most of us would rather not have others know of some of the little annoying habits that we have. After all, we are not in a relationship with those individuals and our habits have no impact on them. Basically I am saying that it is none of their business.
The issues are for you and your partner. Respect the fact that the conflicts and annoyances should be resolved by the two of you. The feelings of your mate should always be a primary concern. Never do or say anything that you know would hurt him or her.
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Getting frustrated with the people in your life is natural. As much as we would like to avoid it, it is inevitable that we will sometimes be annoyed or frustrated by something our partner does. Sometimes it is the little things and sometimes it will be bigger issues.
You may find that your partner leaves a coffee cup sitting on the counter each morning. Although you have asked repeatedly the cup is left there daily. Maybe your partner regularly forgets to give you phone messages regardless of their importance.
It could be anything really. Whatever it is about your partner that irritates you, large or small, should only be discussed between the two of you.
It is easy and somewhat natural to call a friend and compare notes about what goes on in your relationship to theirs. However you should be very careful about what you say. Complaining about your partner to someone else can definitely lead to trouble.
Remember that you are talking negatively about the person you love. This is the person that you have planned spending a lifetime with. In order to respect that person you should have regards for how they would feel if they knew what you were saying.
Obviously your mate may not care if you tell a friend about a coffee cup being left out. But there are many issues that he or she might care about. Consider how you would feel if your partner told friends and relatives about some of the little (or big) things that you do that are annoying.
Be sure to sign up for your free report that will show you ways to build a strong and lasting relationship, one step at a time! The sign up form can be found in the sidebar.
I know you are close to perfect but surely there are at least one or two flaws that could be mentioned. Nothing good could possibly be gained from sharing that sort of information with people outside of the relationship. Your friends and family members are probably not qualified to give unbiased opinions. Neither can solve your problems.
So by sharing information about your partner that should not be disclosed you will only create a lesser image of your partner in the eyes of the people you confide in. They may begin seeing your partner in a less than admirable way. This cannot help your relationship with your partner and in the end it could even damage your relationship with your friend.
Surely you can see that the issues should be worked out between the two of you and not be shared with others, unless of course, your partner does not mind you sharing such information. However, most of us would rather not have others know of some of the little annoying habits that we have. After all, we are not in a relationship with those individuals and our habits have no impact on them. Basically I am saying that it is none of their business.
The issues are for you and your partner. Respect the fact that the conflicts and annoyances should be resolved by the two of you. The feelings of your mate should always be a primary concern. Never do or say anything that you know would hurt him or her.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Most Difficult Times For Break Ups
A break up is not easy during any time of the year but the devastation seems to be extremely hard to bear during the holidays and special occasions. Knowing what to do and what not to do can help with this difficult phase.
An unexpected break up of a valued relationship can be difficult to deal with at any time of the year. But when the holidays or special occasions roll around the devastation can even be worse.
It seems that during the holiday season you, like everyone else is expected to be happy and jolly. But when your heart is broken this is a difficult thing to do. You may find ways to hide your hurt while you are with others but when you are alone all the pain and gloom returns.
You might even feel some comfort in the fact that during those alone times you are free to cry or shout or whatever it is that helps you deal with the problem. And unless you are really good at hiding your distress you probably have well-meaning friends that want to help you out of that dark place you are in.
They may try to match you up with someone they know or they may simply tell you that you need to forget about the past and move on. This article is not intended to do either of those things. Instead, I want to let you know that most relationships can be repaired.
And you should also know that the holidays can be an excellent time to plan a make up with an ex. But first there are a few things to be considered:
1) Is this relationship worth saving
2) Are you ready for a make up
3) Do you still have a place in the heart of your ex
4) Will your ex consider a reunion of any kind
5) Will a make up last
First of all you need to evaluate the relationship and what you are missing about it. Consider the type of interactions that you had with your ex on a regular basis during the good times of the relationship. If the relationship was abusive in anyway then it should not be a tremendous loss to let it remain in the past. But if most of the relationship was fun and interesting then it is probably worth saving.
Decide if you are truly ready for a make up. Determine if a relationship with your ex is really what you want and if it fits in with who you are at this moment in time. It is possible that you have changed in some way since the break up.
Next you will need to determine if your ex still thinks of you in a special way. Regardless of the way the relationship ended it is possible that your ex is missing you as badly as you are missing him or her.
If you determine that your ex does in fact still care then you will need to come up with a way to communicate with him or her. Depending on the circumstances this may need to start with a text message, an email or a phone call. Next you can hopefully move on to spending some real time with your ex.
That will give you an opportunity to determine if the relationship is viable and if a reunion would last. If you feel that a make up would only last until the next break up then you may be better off avoiding heartbreak in the future and simply remaining friends with your ex. You see, in the end it is you that will need to decide the value of the relationship with your ex and how determined you are to make things work.
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An unexpected break up of a valued relationship can be difficult to deal with at any time of the year. But when the holidays or special occasions roll around the devastation can even be worse.
It seems that during the holiday season you, like everyone else is expected to be happy and jolly. But when your heart is broken this is a difficult thing to do. You may find ways to hide your hurt while you are with others but when you are alone all the pain and gloom returns.
You might even feel some comfort in the fact that during those alone times you are free to cry or shout or whatever it is that helps you deal with the problem. And unless you are really good at hiding your distress you probably have well-meaning friends that want to help you out of that dark place you are in.
They may try to match you up with someone they know or they may simply tell you that you need to forget about the past and move on. This article is not intended to do either of those things. Instead, I want to let you know that most relationships can be repaired.
And you should also know that the holidays can be an excellent time to plan a make up with an ex. But first there are a few things to be considered:
1) Is this relationship worth saving
2) Are you ready for a make up
3) Do you still have a place in the heart of your ex
4) Will your ex consider a reunion of any kind
5) Will a make up last
First of all you need to evaluate the relationship and what you are missing about it. Consider the type of interactions that you had with your ex on a regular basis during the good times of the relationship. If the relationship was abusive in anyway then it should not be a tremendous loss to let it remain in the past. But if most of the relationship was fun and interesting then it is probably worth saving.
Decide if you are truly ready for a make up. Determine if a relationship with your ex is really what you want and if it fits in with who you are at this moment in time. It is possible that you have changed in some way since the break up.
Next you will need to determine if your ex still thinks of you in a special way. Regardless of the way the relationship ended it is possible that your ex is missing you as badly as you are missing him or her.
If you determine that your ex does in fact still care then you will need to come up with a way to communicate with him or her. Depending on the circumstances this may need to start with a text message, an email or a phone call. Next you can hopefully move on to spending some real time with your ex.
That will give you an opportunity to determine if the relationship is viable and if a reunion would last. If you feel that a make up would only last until the next break up then you may be better off avoiding heartbreak in the future and simply remaining friends with your ex. You see, in the end it is you that will need to decide the value of the relationship with your ex and how determined you are to make things work.
Monday, February 23, 2009
In Relationships Health And Fitness Matter
Image via Wikipedia
By incorporating a healthy lifestyle into a relationship the couple will see many advantages. There are easy ways to do this without making a drastic change in your routines.
I am sure I do not need to explain to you how important it is to eat right and stay fit. Few of us have avoided the many health recommendations and advertisements that are practically every where you look. And if you are in a relationship you may have noticed that either you or your partner is more aware of this issue than the other one.
Proper nutrition plays a vital role in keeping one healthy. But if meals are being prepared for one or two people it is often easier to grab something on the run or have a quick snack than it is to prepare a full meal. I completely understand that because I am very guilty of not eating right.
The reasons that your health and fitness matter in a relationship are many. First of all you should always take the best care of yourself that you can. Additionally, you should want nothing less for your partner.
Being healthy will mean that the two of you will be able to do a wider variety of things. And yes, I know that some illnesses are unavoidable but we do owe it to our partner and ourselves to try to maintain our health. A longer life with our partner would not be a bad thing!
So my suggestion is that you and your partner discuss ways to take better care of yourselves. Perhaps you will find that planning meals and cooking together will add a new interest to your life. Or maybe you will find a weight management plan that you both want to practice. Working together to promote your health will result in another bonding experience for you as a couple and you will enjoy the efforts much more than if you do it on your own.
The same is true about fitness. But before I elaborate on this I must say that I am not into physical activities. I enjoy walking and biking and I like to work out. But I have never enjoyed sports. The same is not true of my husband. He loves to play golf and he enjoys playing softball.
Because we have different interests does not mean that we cannot share that time together. My husband will go for walks with me and I have gone to the golf courses with him. I also watch his softball games. Although our activities do not offer a totally shared experience we have found ways to integrate each of our interests.
The benefits are wonderful. I love our walks because it is one-on-one time. We get to enjoy nature while having interesting conversations. The times at the ball fields are fun and exciting. And when I go to the golf course we walk so that I can get more exercise.
With determined efforts to keep the two of you healthy and fit you will find multiple benefits. It is another shared experience that will strengthen your relationship.
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Monday, February 16, 2009
Heal That Broken Heart; Or Get Your Ex Back!
A break up does not have to be the end of a relationship. If the relationship was a strong one to start with a little work, sweat and tears can usually put the pieces back together.
When you hear that song your heart breaks. When you pass by those favorite spots that you used to enjoy together you could just die. And you cannot help but to be envious of your friends that seem to be happy in their relationships. All you want to do is live in the past. You wonder if you will ever find a way to heal your broken heart.
Perhaps it is easier than you think. Instead of moving on and getting over the past there may be ways to fix the problems. What if you could get your ex back; that would solve all the issues you are dealing with now and you could move forward.
I know this may sound like the impossible dream right now but it really does not have to be. Many people have rekindled a dying romance or lost love and you can too. You are probably wondering how to go about that because I know that you have most likely thought of various plans, trying to construct a way of getting that relationship back together.
I am sure that you know there are some relationships that simply are not meant to be. So if you are or were in one of those, the kind that is violent or abusive in someway, consider yourself fortunate to be getting out now and move on. But if your relationship ended over some misunderstanding or due to you, the other partner, or both of you allowing the relationship to go stale then you can bring it back to life again.
You probably owe it to yourself, your partner and the relationship to give it a fair try. And I am sure that by this point you have exhausted everything you know to do. But do not despair. I have found a simple ebook that will put the information in your hands immediately. This book, The Magic Of Making Up, (link in sidebar!)is written in simple terms; it is easy to understand and to use, plus it comes with a guarantee. I thought it was unbelievable that anyone would offer a guarantee on a product like that!
The point of this article is to offer you some assurance that there is life after a break up. Either you will find that the break up was meant to be due to the nature of the relationship, or you will determine that the relationship is indeed worth saving and you can find hope, strength and suggestions to put to use in the ebook I mentioned. Regardless of what you decide, I wish you all the best in your future!
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When you hear that song your heart breaks. When you pass by those favorite spots that you used to enjoy together you could just die. And you cannot help but to be envious of your friends that seem to be happy in their relationships. All you want to do is live in the past. You wonder if you will ever find a way to heal your broken heart.
Perhaps it is easier than you think. Instead of moving on and getting over the past there may be ways to fix the problems. What if you could get your ex back; that would solve all the issues you are dealing with now and you could move forward.
I know this may sound like the impossible dream right now but it really does not have to be. Many people have rekindled a dying romance or lost love and you can too. You are probably wondering how to go about that because I know that you have most likely thought of various plans, trying to construct a way of getting that relationship back together.
I am sure that you know there are some relationships that simply are not meant to be. So if you are or were in one of those, the kind that is violent or abusive in someway, consider yourself fortunate to be getting out now and move on. But if your relationship ended over some misunderstanding or due to you, the other partner, or both of you allowing the relationship to go stale then you can bring it back to life again.
You probably owe it to yourself, your partner and the relationship to give it a fair try. And I am sure that by this point you have exhausted everything you know to do. But do not despair. I have found a simple ebook that will put the information in your hands immediately. This book, The Magic Of Making Up, (link in sidebar!)is written in simple terms; it is easy to understand and to use, plus it comes with a guarantee. I thought it was unbelievable that anyone would offer a guarantee on a product like that!
The point of this article is to offer you some assurance that there is life after a break up. Either you will find that the break up was meant to be due to the nature of the relationship, or you will determine that the relationship is indeed worth saving and you can find hope, strength and suggestions to put to use in the ebook I mentioned. Regardless of what you decide, I wish you all the best in your future!
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