How to Convince Your Spouse To Work At Saving Your Marriage

When your partner seems minutes away from packing their bags — or you’re living separately already — convincing him/her to save your marriage can seem next to impossible. If you take a step back from the situation, though, you can see that there are realistic options for changing the mind of a spouse who’s about to walk out. Here are some strategies that may get your partner to come around.

Fake it ‘til you make it!

It’s a common strategy for business and other areas of social like, but acting “as if” can work for marriages, too. It works so well because how we act has a major influence both on how we feel and on how others see us. For a while, try forgetting that you have anything but a perfectly blissful marriage and treat your spouse accordingly. Now, that’s not going to be so easy if your partner’s still bitter and liable to pick a fight. Still, you can take advantage of those times when things are going well to try to see your spouse as the person you were deeply in love with when you decided to get married.

Be reasonable!

Whether you want you spouse to join you in marriage counseling or just try out a few tips you picked up from a book, you’ll have more success in winning them over if you don’t push. Threats, guilt trips, and begging are more likely to push your partner away than give you any success convincing a spouse to save a marriage. Instead, use a calm logical approach that taps into the underlying regard you spouse most likely still has for you or at least for the children. Statements like “With everything we’ve invested in each other, don’t you think it’s worth a try to save it?” or “Wouldn’t you rather be able to tell the kids we tried everything?” can help.

Address the problems!

When convincing a spouse to save a marriage, promises to change ring pretty hollow unless you can back them up. If you expect your spouse to believe you’re not going to repeat certain mistakes in the future, give them a real reason. This is especially important if you’ve had an affair or you’re struggling with an addiction. For instance, if you’ve started counseling to resolve an addiction that you’ve never dealt with before, your partner has a reason to believe things will get better.

Take care of yourself!

The stress and low mood marital problems naturally bring about can leave you feeling like you just don’t want to do anything. For your own sake, though, don’t give in to that feeling or you’ll only make yourself feel worse and drive your spouse farther away. Make sure you’re eating right, getting enough sleep, and not cutting corners on personal grooming. Stay on top of your responsibilities like finances and home maintenance.

Convincing a spouse to save a marriage isn’t always easy, but it can be done. The most important thing you need to do is stay calm, stay upbeat, and actively look for solutions to the problems between you. If you need more advice on convincing a spouse to save a marriage consider marriage counselors but don't forget that help can be as close as an ebook on the topic. Check out the sidebar for suggestions.

Life's Lessons, Personality Traits, And Relationships

All throughout life we meet interesting people. Some touch our life briefly and others stay forever. Have you ever wondered why some relationships seem to last and other wither away? In fact, some last only for a moment, others die slowly, and some end abruptly. But what do you gain from those relationships that do not last?

I know there are times that you would claim those people were not worth having in your life because they brought sorrow, stress or trouble. But other people that you have left behind - or that have left you behind, brought good into your life.

If you really consider all things you are likely to say that all people that have impacted your life have done so in a meaningful way. Whether it was for the good or for some other purpose, if you use the interactions as lessons in life, all relationships are meaningful.

I know this sounds corny but it is true, life has a way of presenting us with lessons. Most of those lessons come from people around us. Either we can listen and learn or we can go on making the same mistakes again and again and feeling that we must be missing something. That feeling is usually correct - and what we are missing is an appreciation for what we can be learning along the way.

Personal development works hand in hand with creating a great relationship. If you work at making yourself a better person in whatever way you can you are likely to develop traits that attract others. At the same time you are becoming more self confident in a way that enables you to get more out of life and relationships.

The old saying, "Live and learn" can be used in various situations but when it comes to relationships there may be no truer words. If the relationship is one that you want to last you will need to listen to what life is teaching you about others. Things like honesty and commitment are usually high on the list of important qualifications. These are characteristics that can be learned. The more you practice them the more natural they are to you. The same is true of having positive thoughts. If you make an effort to replace every negative thought with a positive one you are well on your way to becoming a more positive person.

While formal education has its place, the real lessons, the necessary ones can be learned through observance, interpretation, and practice. Life's lessons can be hard but they are always valuable. Take heed, incorporate the needed changes into your life and you as a person and your relationships will benefit!

Music And Your Relationships

Music plays an important role in many of our lives, but does it have an impact on our relationships? Some of us include music daily, whether it is done by listening to our favorite songs and artists on the radio or by creating our own music, or anything in between. It’s no wonder then that we associate the music we are enjoying to what is going on in our life.

Many couples have a song that they call ‘their song’. This may be the song that was playing when they met or perhaps it was on during a special event. The point is that the song itself has significant meaning to the couple. During the happy times of the relationship the song will usually bring about warm feelings and even a renewed sense of love and gratification. But what happens when the relationship is withering away or is gone and the song is heard?

Well, for starters, many people will become sad because the song does invoke memories of a happier or better time in their life. Others may feel anger because the song reminds them of what they are missing and they feel cheated. I think the reaction depends on how special the relationship was and how it ended and on the individual’s personality.

Of course that subject is not quite as complicated as this one; is there music that affects your emotional state no matter what the situation? Perhaps there is a particular song that puts you in a happy or good mood. This could be a song that you associate with your childhood, a special person, or a special time in your life. It could simply be a song that you enjoy so much that you forget everything else for those precious moments and escape from the world around you.

What about songs that have a negative impact on your emotions? They may also remind you of past times or a special person. What do you do with the emotions initiated by these songs?

Remember that your emotional state can have a direct impact on how you communicate and interact with others. This includes your partner. My final questions are, if we know a particular song will cause us to feel sad or angry should we avoid it? And if a song makes us feel good should we listen to it daily to insure that we will have a better day?

Sometimes it’s the little things in life that make the difference. If we surround ourselves with the things we love and enjoy we are bound to be happier. This can include what some may call the small and unimportant things such as fragrances, décor, lighting, inspirational art and accessories, and finally music. When we’re happier we are a better partner and friend. That makes working at these small things important.

Dating Can Make You Nervous!

Dates are fun, right? Well they should be but sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves that it is hard to relax and enjoy the date itself.

Let me set the scene for you. You are finally going out on the date that you have been looking forward to. You have planned for this date and you want it to be special. The closer it gets the more nervous you become. You spend a ridiculous amount of thought in deciding what to wear. You worry that something will go wrong before the date is over. Dating can be stressful and nerve-wracking.

Consider this fact, at this point all you have done is prepare for the date. With that stress and nervousness going on it will be hard to enjoy yourself.

Let's talk about this for a moment. First of all this date could be with your longtime partner or it could be with someone you have never met before or even an ex from your past. It really doesn't matter what the exact circumstances are, what does matter is that you are anxious about the date.

Dating should be fun and enjoyable. You need to find ways to relax yourself about the date. Perhaps you could watch a silly movie or listen to some of your favorite music before the date begins. Do something that makes you feel good and eases any tension that you might feel. You could have one drink, but only one. That might be enough to ease some of the stress you are feeling.

You have selected your clothes ahead of time. Obviously you should be comfortable with your choice. You will of course take care with all your personal hygienic needs and anything else that makes you feel better about yourself. Perhaps a little cologne will add a nice touch.

In most cases you will already know where you are going and what you will be doing. That should help you feel a little better about things. You can plan ahead of time for small talk that you can make about where you are going. Never discount the conversation topic of the weather. We all have to deal with the weather.

Now let's talk about your nervousness. Try to determine what is causing your anxiety. Perhaps you are afraid that you and your date will not enjoy your time together. If that is the case then you may decide to end the date a little early. As I said, dating should be fun and enjoyable. If you or your date are not having fun the date can always be ended early.

If you are worried about not having enough things to say to each other then you should prepare ahead of time. Think about things that interest you. Ask your date questions. Almost everyone loves to talk about themselves. Be sure to add interesting comments about yourself as the conversations continue. This is a great way to learn more about each other. Ask open-ended questions and not yes and no questions. That will force a real response from your date. Then you can create conversations around their responses.

To keep things stress free I suggest that you play little games with yourself. For example, before your date you can choose a word that you will use as often as possible throughout the date. Make a challenge to yourself to use that word in appropriate ways as often as you can without your date noticing what you are doing.

This will give you something to focus on besides your nervousness. After a short while you may completely forget about any stress or tension that you felt earlier and realize that you are having a great time.

Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Call You; Use An Underhanded Approach

Getting in touch with an ex is not always easy. It seems that you are between a rock and a hard place; you want to talk to him but you do not want it to appear that you are chasing him or that you are desperate.

I know how it feels after a nasty break up when all you want is to hear the voice of your ex. You are longing to call him but at the same time you do not want to because you do not want to seem as if you are chasing him. But you cannot get him out of your mind! It is a vicious cycle!

You want him to call so badly! Well there is a way to get him to call. But it does take some planning. Do not worry though, this is a simple technique and it works almost every time!

Okay, first of all you need to set up a scenario in which you can thank your ex for something. It can be anything at all. Now this may not be for the person that plays it straight by the books so if that is you then you may want to stop reading now.

I suggest that you come up with a white lie. Okay, I know a lot of you do not want to lie and I do not usually like to lie either, but drastic times call for drastic measures! Your lie can be about flowers, your grass being mowed, your newspaper being brought up to your doorstep, snow being cleaned off your windshield, do you get the idea yet, what I am suggesting here is that you come up with something, anything that is not too major and if at all possible, it should be something that would have been in for your ex to do.

Believe it or not the lie is the hard part. Once you have a convincing lie all you need to do is leave an email, a text message or a voice mail that says you want to thank him. Now you of course want to say a little more than that. You want to be convincing. In your message mention that you were surprised and how much you appreciated what he did, but do not explain what it was; you do not need to be too specific, the point is to arouse his curiosity.

The ebooks listed in the sidebar can provide lots of great ideas related to ways to get your ex to communicate with you - even more than that,they will teach you how to get your ex back into your life permanently. Check them out!

Want To Keep Your Relationship Strong; Keep Your Problems To Yourself

A relationship is built around love and trust. Learning when not to talk about problems in the relationship can keep it strong and maintain that trust.

Getting frustrated with the people in your life is natural. As much as we would like to avoid it, it is inevitable that we will sometimes be annoyed or frustrated by something our partner does. Sometimes it is the little things and sometimes it will be bigger issues.

You may find that your partner leaves a coffee cup sitting on the counter each morning. Although you have asked repeatedly the cup is left there daily. Maybe your partner regularly forgets to give you phone messages regardless of their importance.

It could be anything really. Whatever it is about your partner that irritates you, large or small, should only be discussed between the two of you.

It is easy and somewhat natural to call a friend and compare notes about what goes on in your relationship to theirs. However you should be very careful about what you say. Complaining about your partner to someone else can definitely lead to trouble.

Remember that you are talking negatively about the person you love. This is the person that you have planned spending a lifetime with. In order to respect that person you should have regards for how they would feel if they knew what you were saying.

Obviously your mate may not care if you tell a friend about a coffee cup being left out. But there are many issues that he or she might care about. Consider how you would feel if your partner told friends and relatives about some of the little (or big) things that you do that are annoying.

Be sure to sign up for your free report that will show you ways to build a strong and lasting relationship, one step at a time! The sign up form can be found in the sidebar.

I know you are close to perfect but surely there are at least one or two flaws that could be mentioned. Nothing good could possibly be gained from sharing that sort of information with people outside of the relationship. Your friends and family members are probably not qualified to give unbiased opinions. Neither can solve your problems.

So by sharing information about your partner that should not be disclosed you will only create a lesser image of your partner in the eyes of the people you confide in. They may begin seeing your partner in a less than admirable way. This cannot help your relationship with your partner and in the end it could even damage your relationship with your friend.

Surely you can see that the issues should be worked out between the two of you and not be shared with others, unless of course, your partner does not mind you sharing such information. However, most of us would rather not have others know of some of the little annoying habits that we have. After all, we are not in a relationship with those individuals and our habits have no impact on them. Basically I am saying that it is none of their business.

The issues are for you and your partner. Respect the fact that the conflicts and annoyances should be resolved by the two of you. The feelings of your mate should always be a primary concern. Never do or say anything that you know would hurt him or her.

Most Difficult Times For Break Ups

A break up is not easy during any time of the year but the devastation seems to be extremely hard to bear during the holidays and special occasions. Knowing what to do and what not to do can help with this difficult phase.

An unexpected break up of a valued relationship can be difficult to deal with at any time of the year. But when the holidays or special occasions roll around the devastation can even be worse.

It seems that during the holiday season you, like everyone else is expected to be happy and jolly. But when your heart is broken this is a difficult thing to do. You may find ways to hide your hurt while you are with others but when you are alone all the pain and gloom returns.

You might even feel some comfort in the fact that during those alone times you are free to cry or shout or whatever it is that helps you deal with the problem. And unless you are really good at hiding your distress you probably have well-meaning friends that want to help you out of that dark place you are in.

They may try to match you up with someone they know or they may simply tell you that you need to forget about the past and move on. This article is not intended to do either of those things. Instead, I want to let you know that most relationships can be repaired.

And you should also know that the holidays can be an excellent time to plan a make up with an ex. But first there are a few things to be considered:

1) Is this relationship worth saving
2) Are you ready for a make up
3) Do you still have a place in the heart of your ex
4) Will your ex consider a reunion of any kind
5) Will a make up last

First of all you need to evaluate the relationship and what you are missing about it. Consider the type of interactions that you had with your ex on a regular basis during the good times of the relationship. If the relationship was abusive in anyway then it should not be a tremendous loss to let it remain in the past. But if most of the relationship was fun and interesting then it is probably worth saving.

Decide if you are truly ready for a make up. Determine if a relationship with your ex is really what you want and if it fits in with who you are at this moment in time. It is possible that you have changed in some way since the break up.

Next you will need to determine if your ex still thinks of you in a special way. Regardless of the way the relationship ended it is possible that your ex is missing you as badly as you are missing him or her.

If you determine that your ex does in fact still care then you will need to come up with a way to communicate with him or her. Depending on the circumstances this may need to start with a text message, an email or a phone call. Next you can hopefully move on to spending some real time with your ex.

That will give you an opportunity to determine if the relationship is viable and if a reunion would last. If you feel that a make up would only last until the next break up then you may be better off avoiding heartbreak in the future and simply remaining friends with your ex. You see, in the end it is you that will need to decide the value of the relationship with your ex and how determined you are to make things work.

In Relationships Health And Fitness Matter

Image via Wikipedia

By incorporating a healthy lifestyle into a relationship the couple will see many advantages. There are easy ways to do this without making a drastic change in your routines.

I am sure I do not need to explain to you how important it is to eat right and stay fit. Few of us have avoided the many health recommendations and advertisements that are practically every where you look. And if you are in a relationship you may have noticed that either you or your partner is more aware of this issue than the other one.

Proper nutrition plays a vital role in keeping one healthy. But if meals are being prepared for one or two people it is often easier to grab something on the run or have a quick snack than it is to prepare a full meal. I completely understand that because I am very guilty of not eating right.

The reasons that your health and fitness matter in a relationship are many. First of all you should always take the best care of yourself that you can. Additionally, you should want nothing less for your partner.

Being healthy will mean that the two of you will be able to do a wider variety of things. And yes, I know that some illnesses are unavoidable but we do owe it to our partner and ourselves to try to maintain our health. A longer life with our partner would not be a bad thing!

So my suggestion is that you and your partner discuss ways to take better care of yourselves. Perhaps you will find that planning meals and cooking together will add a new interest to your life. Or maybe you will find a weight management plan that you both want to practice. Working together to promote your health will result in another bonding experience for you as a couple and you will enjoy the efforts much more than if you do it on your own.

The same is true about fitness. But before I elaborate on this I must say that I am not into physical activities. I enjoy walking and biking and I like to work out. But I have never enjoyed sports. The same is not true of my husband. He loves to play golf and he enjoys playing softball.

Because we have different interests does not mean that we cannot share that time together. My husband will go for walks with me and I have gone to the golf courses with him. I also watch his softball games. Although our activities do not offer a totally shared experience we have found ways to integrate each of our interests.

The benefits are wonderful. I love our walks because it is one-on-one time. We get to enjoy nature while having interesting conversations. The times at the ball fields are fun and exciting. And when I go to the golf course we walk so that I can get more exercise.

With determined efforts to keep the two of you healthy and fit you will find multiple benefits. It is another shared experience that will strengthen your relationship.

Heal That Broken Heart; Or Get Your Ex Back!

A break up does not have to be the end of a relationship. If the relationship was a strong one to start with a little work, sweat and tears can usually put the pieces back together.

When you hear that song your heart breaks. When you pass by those favorite spots that you used to enjoy together you could just die. And you cannot help but to be envious of your friends that seem to be happy in their relationships. All you want to do is live in the past. You wonder if you will ever find a way to heal your broken heart.

Perhaps it is easier than you think. Instead of moving on and getting over the past there may be ways to fix the problems. What if you could get your ex back; that would solve all the issues you are dealing with now and you could move forward.

I know this may sound like the impossible dream right now but it really does not have to be. Many people have rekindled a dying romance or lost love and you can too. You are probably wondering how to go about that because I know that you have most likely thought of various plans, trying to construct a way of getting that relationship back together.

I am sure that you know there are some relationships that simply are not meant to be. So if you are or were in one of those, the kind that is violent or abusive in someway, consider yourself fortunate to be getting out now and move on. But if your relationship ended over some misunderstanding or due to you, the other partner, or both of you allowing the relationship to go stale then you can bring it back to life again.

You probably owe it to yourself, your partner and the relationship to give it a fair try. And I am sure that by this point you have exhausted everything you know to do. But do not despair. I have found a simple ebook that will put the information in your hands immediately. This book, The Magic Of Making Up, (link in sidebar!)is written in simple terms; it is easy to understand and to use, plus it comes with a guarantee. I thought it was unbelievable that anyone would offer a guarantee on a product like that!

The point of this article is to offer you some assurance that there is life after a break up. Either you will find that the break up was meant to be due to the nature of the relationship, or you will determine that the relationship is indeed worth saving and you can find hope, strength and suggestions to put to use in the ebook I mentioned. Regardless of what you decide, I wish you all the best in your future!

Can This Relationship Be Saved: Make Up, Do Not Break Up

The ending of a relationship can be as devastating as a death. But the good news is that unlike a death there is the possibility of a make up and in many cases the renewed relationship is more beautiful than ever before.

My friend Jody called me yesterday to tell me that her husband Andy is cheating on her. She was so upset I had trouble understanding her through the sobs. I told her I would be right over.

When I got there I found Jody looking as though she had not sleep in days. I felt so bad for her. The house looked as bad as Jody did. I suggested that she go take a shower and that we could go have some lunch. Although I could tell she did not want to she followed my advice and I tidied up a bit while she was in the other room.

Over lunch Jody got back to her old personality. She started telling me about some of the problems that she and Andy had been having. It seems that Andy has been working a lot of long hours. He works in construction and during this time of year he is always busy. Although Jody admitted that she enjoyed the extra money he was making she said that she absolutely hated him being gone so much.

Apparently Jody had been asking Andy not to work so much overtime but Andy said that it was required, that he does not have a choice. That was the beginning of the arguments. Jody said that everything has escalated since then. She blames everything on the fact that Andy is working too much. Jody said that Andy comes home too tired to spend any time with her and that he is not keeping up with any of his responsibilities around the house.

When I asked Jody how she knew Andy was cheating on her she said that he did not come last night until after 10 pm. Andy said that some of the guys from the work site went out for beer after work and he just lost track of time. Jody does not believe him. She said a lot of things last night that she now regrets. She even told him that he should move out. Andy slept in the other room and was gone before Jody got up this morning. So far today he has not answered any of her calls.

Obviously this is a very delicate situation. Jody has made accusations that she really had no basis for. Where this relationship goes from here is in the control of Jody more so than Andy. Andy did not say the negative things to Jody. As far as anyone knows Andy has been a good guy working hard trying to do what he can to make extra money. Perhaps he has slacked with his domestic responsibilities but it seems that some understanding may be in order here.

Jody can either decide that things are over, that she and Andy are breaking up; after all, she told Andy to move out. Or she can decide that she wants to make up. In that case it is going to take some effort and the sooner Jody gets started the better. I recommended The Magic Of Making Up to Jody but another excellent option is Second Chance Romance. You can find more information and links to both ebooks in the sidebar.

Setting The Mood For Love

Always make your lover the center of your attention. Don't answer the phone or pager while you're with her intimately. If you're married with children, tell them mom and dad need to have their private play time (and then make them honor that). Turn off the TV if you don't want to turn off your woman. Bring home little trinkets for no special reason. A single flower or some chocolates will let her know that you were thinking about her, even when she wasn't with you.

You can also do a lot to set the mood for a woman by stimulating all five of her senses. Some ways you might do this include:

* Play her favorite music, whisper sweet love-talk before, during, and after you make love to her.
* Stimulate her sense of smell with fresh flowers, exotic incense, scented candles, and her favorite cologne.
* Decorate the bedroom as if you were expecting a VIP to spend the night with pictures, ornaments, and candles.
* Create new touches with oils, lotions, and powders.
* Consider making love on satin sheets and then tickle her with feathers.
* Order in a gourmet dinner or buy delectable snacks and feed her by hand.


Click here to read more articles by Dr. Ava to enhance your Love & Sex life

The Simple Way To Get Your Ex Back

Break ups are part of life. Almost every adult has experienced the heartache and drama associated with a relationship that has ended. Most people learn how to accept that and they move on.

But others are not willing to simply give up – instead they will take every possible opportunity to improve the situation and get the ex back. If that describes you, if you want your ex back then this article can help.

First you need to realize that about 90 – 95% of all breakups can be remedied, but only if the correct steps are taken. Don't worry, you can get all the resources you right here on this site - they will guide you step by step to getting your ex back.

You will greatly benefit from the resources listed here. But for now let us discuss some things you can start doing right away to get reunited with your love.

A basic step you need to take is considering what exactly led to the break up. It is important that you are objective. The point is that you can use this information to learn from whatever the problem(s) was and improve your chances for a make up as well as a stronger relationship when you get back with your ex.

Some relationships end because of one specific event. The breakup may happen suddenly and seem to come from out of nowhere. Other relationships develop problems that escalate to the breakup and some end because of a behavior that your ex did not approve of.

Understanding what led up to the break up will assist you later on. Using that information along with the plans contained in the resources will result in a second chance romance with your ex.

Your next focus will need to be centered on building a stronger relationship so you will not find yourself in this position again. When working on re-establishing your relationship it is not wise to allow yourself to appear needy or to make accusations. Your goal is to have confidence and not cause any new problems.

The resources will provide tips and plans for exactly what to say and when to say it. There are ways to have discussions that will result in your ex feeling that he/she made a terrible mistake and they will desperately want you back. That is a powerful concept in itself!

Whatever you do attempting to make your ex jealous is not the way to get him/her back. In fact, that will give your ex the impression that you have moved on with your life and you are no longer interested. You want him/her to know that you do still care.

Keep in mind that a break up is hard on both partners. Your ex could use a little boost to his/her self-confidence and you can be the one to do that. You will definitely want to talk with your ex and then set up a short 'date' or meeting.
Keeping things brief is important. It relieves pressure from both of you. Don't worry; the resources available in the sidebar will explain in detail each step you should take!

It is true that you may find a way to work things out without the help of the resources offered but do you really want to risk losing your ex forever? It is very easy to make things worse than they already are if you do not know what to do.

You really can get your ex back but the sooner you begin taking those vital steps the more likely it is that it will happen! You can get a FREE report about building lasting relationships by completing the sign up in the sidebar. The specific resources that I spoke of throughout the article can also be found there. The sooner you get started working toward getting your ex back the more likely it is to happen - START NOW!

When Your Boyfriend Is Cheating On You With An Online Girlfriend

We're all looking for love but some of us find it in the strangest places. Online romances are becoming more and more common. Even husbands and wives are enjoying online relationships with others but there are times that an online friendship crosses over the line to an online affair.

The Internet has opened up so many new possibilities for all of us; from shopping and banking online to dating online! Finding online romance is not difficult and in some cases it is not harmful to an existing relationship but there are times that those online relationships do get out of hand.

First of all it is important to discover what the attraction is in the online relationship. For some people it is the fact that they are able to communicate with someone that they will never meet in person. Because of that they feel they can say anything at all that comes to mind.

Whether they are being the person they present to others in their life or not we really do not know. The mere fact that they are online in the world of the Internet provides the opportunity for them to be whoever and whatever they want to be.

This provides an outlet for a person that they perhaps cannot get in the physical world. In such cases this type of relationship can actually be a healthy outlet.

But as I said in the beginning, these relationships can get out of hand. Some people tend to get so involved in the online relationship and the freedom that it offers that the real world seems too demanding. In those cases the individual often prefers the online relationship.

A possible solution is a stronger and healthier relationship in the real world. If the individual feels that he can be himself and truly express inner thoughts and feelings freely he is less likely to prefer an online relationship.

Many online relationships have even developed into long term partnerships and marriages. The individuals decide that they have so much in common that they must meet and if all works out the relationship continues. Unfortunately some marriages have ended because one partner or the other has found someone else via the Internet. The Internet has certainly changed the way we live and think!

Things To Do Before Starting A New Relationship Or Renewing An Old One

As human beings we crave the bonds that we feel when we are involved in a relationship. It is a comforting feeling to know that you are loved. But if a relationship is jumped into without any thought or planning it can result in utter turmoil for the partners.

Relationships can add interest and harmony to our life; or they can add drama and complete chaos. It really depends on the nature of the relationship and the commitment of both partners involved. If we approach the development of a relationship as a project that requires planning and step-by-step actions we can create the type of relationships we want. There are some things that should be done before we even start that new relationship or before we renew an old one.

We have all heard that in order to love someone we have to love ourselves first. To go one step beyond that, in order to truly love yourself you will need to really know yourself.

You should be able to define your dreams and goals. You should know what your future overall plans are. You should have a clear understanding of the type of relationship that you want and what your expectations of your partner are.

The reason this information is so crucial before you begin a relationship is that you will need to share this with your partner. And this information should be shared at the start of a relationship, not months or years later.

This article is not about self-development but it is a good idea to work on yourself before you begin a new relationship. Get in touch with the you that lives hidden inside. I am referring to the person that you do not always show to the rest of the world.

By having a genuine understanding of who you really are you will be in a better position to develop a relationship that incorporates that part of you. Although that may not seem important at the onset of a new relationship over time it will become vital to the success of that relationship.

An example is this; an extroverted person meets someone they care about who happens to love to spend time at home. This new person would rather cook dinner and then spend time watching TV, reading, or exploring the Internet than to have a night out on the town. The partner that loves meeting people and all social activities may not mind spending time at home for a period of time. But after a month or two, or even six months he or she will probably be ready to explode from boredom.

By that time the relationship has grown and the partner was never aware of the fact that staying home was an issue. That partner is perfectly content with the way things are going. So at such a point in the relationship a compromise may be a little harder to adjust to.

If in the beginning this issue had been addressed either a compromise would have been reached or the partners may have agreed that they were two very different people and perhaps a friendship would be better than a relationship.

The point is that you should get in touch with your personal desires, values and goals. Then when you meet someone you have to make it a point to learn about what is important to them; even to the part of them that is hiding inside. As you are learning about the new person you will be building a strong friendship. By sharing intimate details of your inner selves you will better be able to determine if a long-term relationship will last.

My Apologies

This is a note to apologize and explain why I have not posted for a few days......

My mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in January 2007 - she died on Tuesday, January 12, 2009. I was one of her primary caregivers during her illness.

To be honest, when I wasn't with her during the past six months I was wishing that I was. In reality it was a blessing to see her go because she is now in peace and her pain is gone forever.

Although I am not necessarily a religious person I am very spiritual. I know that my mom is in a better place....but of course that does not take away the hurt I feel because she is no longer with me.

Now you may be wondering what all this has to do with relationships...let me try to explain. During the past year or so I have come to realize more than ever the importance of family and people that we care about. I know that we are never promised the opportunity to see any of our loved ones again so we need to end every visit or phone call with words that convey our love.

My mom's funeral was on Saturday. Ironically my husband's best friend Scott died Sunday morning - he was only 48....Scott was diagnosed with cancer on Tuesday of last week.

Obviously my husband and I are clinging to each other and to our children. We have talked about the importance of family and others that have become important to us. I have always been very family-oriented but I can promise you that this has brought home the importance of keeping my priorities straight.

For the past few months it has been very difficult to keep up with my online writing efforts. I had to limit the assignments I could take on....in fact, my finances are suffering because of it. But life goes on - there will soon be time to write on a daily basis again.

I say 'soon' because this week will be consumed with mourning for Scott but also for a new life. You see, my fourth grandchild will be born tomorrow! So as I move through the cloud of despair I can see bright days ahead.

It seems that my mom's illness and death created a new and stronger bond with my brothers and sister, as well as with my own children, grandchildren, and my husband. In the end my immediate family as well as my extended family has become more united than ever.

I apologize for the hit and miss style of my postings and for this ramble - but please know that I have appreciated all of the kind words and prayers that have gone out for my mom, myself, and for my family. You have shown kindness to a virtual stranger and it means a lot. I will be more consistent with my postings in the future - and I will be accepting writing orders beginning this weekend. I truly am sorry for those of you that I had to decline.

That's all - Thanks for reading this!

Getting Your Ex Back; Putting The Pieces Back Together

If your relationship ended abruptly over something that could have been avoided then you are probably looking for ways to put that partnership back together. But you will need to proceed with caution in order to insure that the same thing will not happen again.

Let us assume that you were involved in a relationship that ended for some reason. Let us also assume that the relationship was one that should not have ended; the break up occurred over some silly argument or disagreement, or perhaps the relationship simply got stale.

But now you and your ex have decided to work things out. You are starting over and you want to do things right this time so you do not have to suffer through another pointless break up.

You should know that there are certain steps and precautions you should take to help guarantee the success of the make up.

1) Be open and honest about what you want from the relationship, including what you want from your partner
2) Be open and honest about what you are willing to do to insure the success of the relationship
3) Discuss in an unbiased way what went wrong with the relationship before; do not make any accusations but address this as if you were on the outside looking in
4) Together come up with ways to strengthen the bonds that you already have and ways to eliminate any friction
5) Become great friends

By discussing honestly what you want or expect from the relationship you are allowing your partner an opportunity to decide if he or she is willing to oblige you. In turn, by clearly and openly stating what you are willing to put into the relationship your partner can determine where he or she really stands.

When you discuss the problems that existed in the relationship prior to and during the break up it is imperative that you do not make any accusations about who was at fault. Instead of accusing your ex of spending too much time at a bar or doing things that you did not approve of you could discuss the fact that you feel you had too much time apart and you would like more structure to the relationship. Of course you will need to be open to what your partner thinks about that. Be careful that this does not turn into an argument.

Consider the things that you have going for you as a couple. This will be specific to each individual couple but an example would be that you have a common interest in art or music. Anything that bonds you as a couple should be considered a strength and those are things that you can build on. For any areas that seem to cause disputes you can possibly come up with a plan about how to best deal with those things or situations. The plan will help you through those times when they happen.

The most important step is developing or expanding on the friendship you have with your partner. It is a fact of life that there will be times that you do not agree with one another and there may be times that you are angry with one another but if you have a strong friendship your relationship will continue. With the friendship will come respect for one another. Mix the love in with that you will have a lasting relationship!

Making Up Means Never Giving Up!

Some relationships seem to be made of stone, they can weather the most difficult storms imaginable and come through stronger than ever. Where as the same problems or conflicts can completely destroy the less stable relationships. Learn what makes the difference.

Be sure to sign up for your free report on relationships - the sign up form is in the sidebar.

This article is a story about a couple I know and it can give strength to anyone suffering at this moment through a difficult break up. My friends, Tony and Donna had been married for about 15 years when Donna got a phone call from someone named Carrie.

Carrie told Donna that she had been dating Tony for over two years and that she was going to leave her husband so they could be together. Carrie told Donna to check out some of the emails and to check the cell phone records if she needed proof.

This all came as a shock to Donna. Although she had suspected that Tony might be hanging out at the bar a little too often she had never considered the fact that he might actually be having an affair. But Donna checked the emails and phone records as Carrie had suggested and she found more than enough evidence to know that Carrie was telling her the truth.

But Donna is an intelligent woman. She also found out where Carrie lived and so she went over to her home. Carrie was not there but her husband Bill was. Donna told Bill everything. Bill seemed to be very angry and not hurt at all. Donna found out that Carrie worked in the restaurant just down the street from the factory that Tony managed.

Donna waited for Tony to arrive home that evening and he was late as usual. She had all of the evidence to throw at him. But to her surprise Tony did not deny anything. He simply packed a bag and left. That was not the response she wanted. She later made a phone to Carrie to tell her that she had confronted Tony with all the details. Carrie was polite and told Donna that because Bill was now aware of the situation he was moving out of their home.

I am going to leave out a lot of the details here but Tony and Donna were separated for about 8 months. During that time Tony lived with Carrie. But Donna never gave up on the relationship. She kept in touch with Tony regularly.

As we have heard before, the grass is always greener someplace else, but often we find that the someplace else is a nice place to visit but not to live. It seems that is what happened with Tony.

In order to assure that the relationship between Carrie and Tony was truly over Donna insisted in moving, which meant that Tony would have to change jobs. But Tony agreed and they have lived peacefully together ever since. The moral of this story is that if the relationship is built on a strong foundation it can survive some terrible storms! Build yours on friendship for a rock solid foundation.

Tips To A Magical Make Up

Relationships have to be nurtured and cared for if they are to grow and continue to be strong and healthy. But we are only human and we are likely to forget or neglect to provide everything that we should in order to maintain the health of our relationships. Then the couple may break up but if they work at it most relationships can be saved with a magical make up!

Arguments get out of hand and relationships end. One partner or the other proves that they are human and makes a mistake that devastates the other, and the relationship ends. I could go on and on with possible reasons for the ending of a relationship but this article is about how to create the perfect make up, how to get that relationship back on a solid foundation.

My perspectives come from a mix of experience as a psychiatric nurse, research and having lived for more years than I care to document in this article. But I will disclose that I have been married twice and I have always been the go to person for my friends, relatives and past co-workers when they had relationship problems, not to mention that I have raised four children that are now grown.

So you can use my advice alone but I would suggest that you also utilize information from a great ebook that I have found, it is called The Magic Of Making Up, and you can find links to it at the bottom of the article.

I am going to assume that you are in the position of wanting your ex back and you need to find out how or what to do to get them back. Before you do anything else you should take care of you. That is, make sure that you are eating right, sleeping enough, attending to your personal cleanliness as you should, and this includes hair, shaving, and make up, whatever. And do not forget that your home should be tidy as well.

Next you are ready to contrive the perfect make up that is special order for you and your situation. Begin by thinking about your ex. You want to make things special for that person. You may think the perfect way to make up is by sending flowers but if your ex does not appreciate flowers then the effort will be wasted.

Consider things that matter to him or her. Perhaps there is a particular flower that he or she likes. Or maybe he or she adores a particular play, ball team, singer, etc.; in that case maybe you could purchase tickets and plan the most special day, evening around that event, stressing that there are no strings attached. You will need to figure out the person if you are to find your way into his or her heart again.

This will be easy. You probably already know your ex well enough to come up with lots of things that would be special to him or her. Some people are materialistic and some people are not but almost everyone likes to know that another person really cares enough about them to get to know the real person inside. Show them you know that person.

Your goal is to find a way back to that person, if you can score a date of any type you will have some time to be charming and work on asking if you can call in a few days. Do not be pushy. Take things slowly and stress that you know the importance of building a strong friendship to be used as a rock solid foundation for any relationship.

Make Up With Your Ex; Get Them Back And Be Happy Again

Relationships are precious. They give us another person(s) to believe in and to believe in us. But when those relationships hit stormy waters we are often left feeling totally alone.

Even if you personally have never had a broken heart I am sure you know someone that has. Broken hearts hurt! There are countless songs and movies about the pain and drama associated with a break up but when one is living through the actual distress those songs and movies do not seem to accurately depict the deep emptiness one feels.

I know because I have lived through such a period in my life. And I have lots of friends that have done the same. But knowing that this is only part of life does not make it easier to bear.

For me finding strength in myself was the key. For others nothing but a make up with the ex will end the feelings of depression. One of my very dear friends, Sammy lived through the stress of his girlfriend breaking up with him.

Sammy called me late one night to tell me that she said she just wanted some space, some time to be away from him and do things with other people. Hearing the sadness in his voice I felt nothing but sorrow. I did not have words that would help but I listened as Sammy sobbed his story to me.

After several minutes of his weeping we talked about what might have gone wrong. It seems that my friend had made it a point to spend every evening with his ex. They were completely inseparable on the weekends. But Sammy said that there had not been any real problems.

The more we talked the more details of the relationship were revealed. It seemed that when his girlfriend wanted to go shopping with her friends Sammy would take her instead. I asked if there was a reason that he did want her to go with her friends and he said that he liked shopping with her.

I think talking about the relationship was helpful for Sammy because a light bulb seemed to be going off. It was as if he was realizing for the first time that maybe he had been somewhat overbearing and perhaps even a bit intrusive in the way his girlfriend wanted to spend her time.

That did not change the fact that Sammy wanted to get his ex back into his life. He asked me for my advice. Although his ex wanted space we came up with a way that he could communicate with her and respect that at the same time. The plan was that Sammy would pour his feeling out on paper and send the letter to his ex.

In this way he was able to contact her indirectly so to speak but he was still able to let her know how he was feeling. Within a two week period Sammy and his ex got back together. He is very happy now and he has a respect for time away from his girlfriend. At least two evenings a week they are not together. Sammy has joined a gym to fill those hours constructively and not only has the relationship strengthened but Sammy is becoming very fit!

The Devastation After A Break Up

We think we are strong people and we will know what to do if and when a tragedy hits home but some of us simply fall apart rather than remembering that we have an inner strength to draw from.

One of the hardest things I have ever lived through is a break up of a relationship that was very important to me. This was many years ago but when I think back on it I can still remember the depression and devastation I felt. You see at the time I was truly in love with this guy.

I thought the relationship was going along fine. I did not realize that there were any problems at all. When Steve told me that he was going out with his friends I never suspected a thing. Steve and I both spent time with our friends regularly so why suspecting anything just never occurred to me.

But then I ran into Frank on a night that Steve had said he was going out with his friends. Frank and Steve were usually together so I asked Frank why he wasn’t with the other guys that night.

Frank was obviously puzzled. Although he did not blatantly lie for Steve he did say that he had simply decided to do other things on this particular night. Because this was a strange turn of events the next day I asked Steve what was going on; I wanted to know if he and Frank had had a disagreement about something.

That was all it took for Steve to tell me what was going on; it was more information than I wanted to hear. Steve told me that he had met someone else recently and had been spending time with her. I felt so betrayed! I was simply devastated and I did not know what to do; all I knew was that I wanted as far away from Steve as possible.

I went through what seems like days of crying and being depressed. I actually lost some weight. I went to bed thinking about my sadness and woke up to face yet another day of being without Steve.

But then something magical happened. A friend of mine told me to take a look in the mirror. She wanted me to acknowledge that I had let myself go. Not only had I lost weight but I had stopped being concerned about my hair or my appearance in general. This was a wake up call she said. My friend told me to take care of me and then I could worry about other things.

I took her advice and then it seems that as if by magic I was able to see things more clearly. Surprisingly Steve was soon calling me asking for forgiveness. This story has a happy ending; Steve and I got back together but only for a short time; I broke up with him soon after the make up.

I think the break up stirred something inside me that I never knew was there before. I will never forget my friend that taught me to look at myself and then to move forward. She had said that no one can love us if we do not love ourselves first! She was so right!

And that come back from total devastation not only led to the make up between Steve and me but also to a new internal strength that I have held onto for all these years. Break ups are hard and make ups can be wonderful but if you do not learn to rely on your own inner strength it is unlikely that you will find true success and happiness with yourself.

Making Up: My Husband Found The Secret In A Book

Disclaimer: This article is based on a true story - but the names and some details were changed to protect the identity of the people involved. It is also loosely related to my own experiences.

Sometimes a relationship starts out perfect and without warning it seems to grow cold for no apparent reason. Time, responsibilities and day to day activities have a way of taking a toil on a relationship over time, that is why a relationship must be nourished. Like a precious rose, it needs lots of care and love if it is to stay at the best it can be.

After 17 years of marriage things were falling apart. My husband Charlie just was not the same person I had met so long ago and I am sure I had changed a great too. As a matter of fact, I think I was even more different than he was. In reality we had simply grown apart.

Charlie had his interests and I had mine. Our children were getting older and seemed busy with their friends and school and not so reliant on us any longer. It just seemed that things were crumbling all around us.

Our friends thought we lived the perfect life. Charlie and I both had good jobs and nice incomes. We lived in a nice suburb and we each drove a nice car. The American dream, except that neither one of us was truly happy with our marriage anymore.

But what was even more distressing was that we could not put our fingers on what it was that we were not happy about. We knew that we still loved one another but that love seemed stale. When we went out to eat it seemed that other couples were having meaningful conversations while ours was focused on necessary talk.

Charlie would ask me about the bills and I would tell him about what was going in the life of the kids as well as trying to catch him up on any maintenance around the house that he may not be aware of. We may or may not exchange work-life summaries.

Soon there came a time that we fought over everything. And shortly after that I asked Charlie to move out. He quickly agreed.

Fortunately, Charlie had the wisdom about him to look for ways to keep our marriage together. And he found it! Where he found is surprising, he found it in an ebook! It is called, The Magic of Making Up. You can check out more information about that book in the sidebar. If you are in a troubled relationship it could help you repair it and move forward. This book gave Charlie lots of great ideas about what he could do to get me back. I am so grateful to that book!

The really cool part is that after Charlie moved back in he shared the book with me. This book has some awesome information in it. I think it can help any couple that is in trouble. You should check it out.

Getting Past The Break Up And On To The Make Up!

After a break up of a relationship many people long for what they had back again. The good news is that in almost every situation, if the relationship is worth saving it can be saved. But the reconciliation cannot happen overnight.

You know the story, you feel the pain. You know the relationship had problems but the break up came as a surprise. It happens millions of times a day. Few people make it through life without getting their heart broken at least once, or twice. But where do you go from here, you know you need to move forward somehow.

First of all I am not writing this article for people that were in no-win situations or relationships that were abusive in anyway. But for people that lost out on love perhaps due to a simple misunderstanding that escalated to a major ordeal, or for people that let a great thing go stale; this article may hold some great advice for you.

So if you fall into one of those categories then you definitely need to keep reading. The first thing you need to do is take care of you. Yeah, I know that sounds like boring advice but it is constructive advice. Go take a look in the mirror and ask yourself the following questions:

1) Do you need to take care of any personal hygiene chores
2) Do you need a hair cut
3) Have you lost or gained weight since the break up
4) Do you have bags under your eyes from loss of sleep
5) Are you taking less care in your general appearance (clothing, make up, etc.)

If you answered yes to any of those questions then you need to address those issues right away. I am serious. I know that you have heard that no one can love you until you love yourself; so go show yourself some love!

Next you should take a look around your immediate environment. Ensure that you have not let your home become a wreck during your painful times. It is common for people to not only lose interest in caring for themselves during sad phases of their lives but also to lose interest in taking care of pets or their homes. Get things in order so that you are ready to move forward.

At this point you should be feeling better about things. As a matter of fact, some people decide that they feel so good they want to leave the past behind completely. But if that does not describe you then you are in a good position to work on the making up process.

The ebook "The Magic of Making Up" has saved thousands of relationships. I am sure you will find valuable and useful advice that will help you through this difficult phase - check out the sidebar for more information. I wish you all the best!

Memories Of Better Times Can Aid In Creating A Make Up That Lasts; 5 Easy Tips!

Times change and so do people which means that relationships evolve over time. Sometimes the evolution goes smoothly as the people involved seem to change and grow together but other times it seems that one partner may be left behind. The good news is that there are ways to get back what was there in the beginning.

Whether you were married, engaged, living together, or just a happy couple, if things ended there were probably some clues that the relationship was going sour. Oftentimes we miss those little signals; perhaps we simply decided to ignore them or maybe we really do not see them, but most of the time in retrospect we discover that they were there.

Consider how the relationship changes from the first encounters to what it is or was at the end. Many times couples will say that in the beginning things were different. They may say that they had less stress and more time to spend doing the fun things in life.

Some couples will say that over time they simply grew apart, with each partner having his or her own interests that the other did not share. Other culprits are age, time, and finances. Aging has a way of changing the things that we find interesting or even necessary. When time is restricted we find that we must make choices about what or how to use the little free time that we have. In prior times if time freedom was not an issue then these choices were not so important. And we all understand that limited funds can mean limits in other areas in our life.

These are some of the basics for a relationship going stale. But other couples survive all of the mentioned problems and for some it seems that with each new element of hardship come a stronger bond between the pair. Instead of the relationship going stale it seems that the couple finds their strength in one another.

So let us now get back to you and your recently dissolved relationship. If your goal is to make up with your ex then I suggest that you go back in time to the beginning of your relationship. Try to discover what made the first spark between the two of you. Consider how things were then and contrast that to how they ended up. Then fill in the gap. Think about all the things that may have led to the changes in the relationship.

After that consider ways that the negatives can be taken out of the equation. Decide if you believe it is possible to get back a healthy relationship. Consider if you are willing to do what will be required to get there.

Then it is time to develop a make up plan. Keep in mind that making up is only as wonderful as the relationship will be. Making up and going through another break up is not what you need right now. You and the relationship itself need a fresh start. You will need to consider if you believe it is possible to achieve that and if so you need to create and implement that make up plan.

Be sure that your plan includes the following:
1) Taking care of you
2) Taking the past into consideration
3) Respecting the wishes of your partner
4) Finding ways to recapture what was lost from the early days of the relationship
5) Building the future on a solid foundation of friendship first

This should get your plan off to a good start. But remember, number one on the list is taking care of you. Get yourself in order before you take on anything else. You will then be better equipped to give it all you have got! Good luck!

Partners Come As A Package Deal

Okay, so you meet this wonderful person that you are totally head over heels in love with. You begin developing a strong relationship built on friendship. You want your friendship to be a priority because you know that will give the two of you strength during difficult times.

Friends play a very important role in our lives. We choose our friends because we enjoy having them in our life. They are the people that we turn to when we are down and out. We trust them to be honest and supportive when we need them. But we also know that it takes a friend to keep a friend.

Obviously you and your partner will have friends from earlier times when you meet. And over the course of your relationship you will introduce your mate to your friends and you will meet the friends of your partner. You will most likely find that you like the people your partner considers friends but do not be surprised if one or two seem to be an odd fit.

You may wonder why your partner cares for that person. The good news is that you do not have to love those people that your mate calls friends, in fact, you do not even have to like them. But, and yes there is a but, you will need to accept them.

Keep in mind that your significant other may not be thrilled with all of the people that you have chosen as friends. But also consider how you would feel if you were asked, or worse, you were told, not to be friends with them any longer. Of course you would be upset and rightly so.

Ideally both you and your partner will continue to maintain your individual friendships with others as you build mutual friendships. Being involved in a relationship should not necessitate giving up your friends.

Find ways to integrate your friendships with others into your relationship. Consider things like having both sets of friends over for a party or an outdoor meal. By adding and combining friendships you will have more options available to you as a couple when you want to do things with others.

It is true that some people can be a problem in a relationship. For instance, if you are a very jealous person it may bother you that your partner has friends of the opposite sex. If this is an issue you will need to discuss it openly with your partner. However, it is unfair to expect that the friendship be given up.

But on the other hand, you should not be expected to live with a situation that you are uncomfortable with. The solution is a compromise. Perhaps you are really okay with the friendship in question but not okay with some aspects of how your mate relates to that person. Open and honest discussions can resolve such matters.

Your relationship should come first but neither you nor your mate should ask the other to give up friends. By working together you will be able to finds ways to incorporate outside friendships into your relationship and you will be better off for it.

5 Easy Steps To Getting Your Boyfriend Back

It may have been your fault, maybe you cheated maybe you were admittedly not the kindest person that you could have been to your boyfriend and now he has left you. And you never thought you would take it as hard as you are but now you realize just how much you had.

Do not worry and do not give up hope that the relationship is completely over. First of all if the relationship was a solid one at all then it is worth putting back together. But you are going to have to do some work before you can begin that process.

Essentially there will be 5 steps to getting your boyfriend back:

1) You will need to carefully evaluate the relationship as it was
2) You will need to consider precisely (to the best of your knowledge) what went wrong
3) You will need to decide if you are willing to make the efforts required to get the relationship back on track
4) You will need to determine where you stand with your ex
5) You will need to develop a plan that is built around creating the type of relationship that both of you desire

If you noticed, each of those steps started with something that you will need to do. In other words this is going to take work and effort. So if your heart is not in this then you should let it go now.

I probably should have mentioned that it is essential that even before you begin with step one that you take a good hard look at yourself. The reason I say that is because after a break up many people tend to let themselves go. They may have poor eating habits which can lead to weight loss or gains and sometimes they even tire of personal hygiene routines.

It is important that you keep in mind that you must take care of yourself before you attempt to repair a broken relationship. If you do not you will find that you are trying to do two things at once and the work will be doubled.

If after evaluating your relationship you decide that it is one worth saving then you should move on to step two. At that point you need to consider what went wrong. Do your best to be unbiased. In relationships most problems can be contributed to both partners to some degree.

Consider what changes you can make to create a better relationship and decide if you can live with those changes on an ongoing basis. You really do not want to repeat another break up in a few months from now because you are tired of the change!

Determine if your ex is interested in repairing the relationship at all. If not then this will take a lot of effort. It does not mean that the relationship cannot be repaired but it does mean that you will have to work a little or a lot harder to repair the damages.

Then when you and your ex decide to work things out the two of you need to decide together what would make your relationship one that is stronger and more wonderful than before. Anything worthwhile is worth planning. Take your time and do it right. I always suggest that you build a relationship on a foundation of friendship because during hard times that friendship will hold you together.

Empty Nest And Beyond

After years of child-rearing couples find that there comes a time in life when the children move out to establish a life of their own. This can be a confusing time for parents. Of course they want their children to grow but at the same time this means the couple will have to make some adjustments in their relationship.

A common realization for couples when their children begin moving out is that they will soon be alone together. For some couples this may be the first time in their relationship that they will not have to address the issues of raising children. For others, it has been so many years ago that they had any time without children that it will seem like the first time.

Although this is a time that couples look forward to and work for there is usually some apprehension about how things will be once the household consists only of the two of them. This is especially true of couples that have lost touch with each other over the years.

It seems that the responsibilities of children, work, a mortgage and life in general often take center stage. This is unavoidable at times and when those things take over more often than they should it is easy to forget that your focus should be on your partner.

So many couples are faced with the dilemma of how to relate to one another when they feel much of the closeness that they once had is now gone. Just as with anything else, planning will make this transition easier. Plan ahead, you know that this time will inevitably happen sooner or later.

You should discuss plans with your partner. There may be some interests that the two of you put on hold during the time you were focused on raising kids. If so this is the time that you should plan to rediscover that interest or hobby. Plan an activity that the two of you can enjoy together.

Now I am not suggesting that because the children move out that you and your partner should spend every minute together, far from it. Actually you will now have more time available for your partner as well as for yourself.

Along with renewing old interests in hobbies from the past consider new things to do together. The reason this is important is that spending time together on an enjoyable activity will help to renew the relationship and build a new bond between the two of you. It will give you an activity to talk about together and quality time to spend together.

During this exciting phase of your relationship you should rediscover yourself and your spouse. Build on what you have and improve it! Things will only get better.

Sign up for my free report that covers lots of ways to create and enhance a relationship - the sign up form can be found in the sidebar.

How Would You Rate Your Relationship?

It seems that many of us work hard to get the man or woman of our dreams and then we feel our work is done. It is done because we have that person in our life. We can see them on a daily basis - we can sleep with them every night and we know what they are doing most of the time.

So as time goes on we are likely to take for granted the time we have with them. We tend to overlook some of the cute little things they say and do simply because it's not new to us anymore. As a matter of fact, we might notice that we are receiving the same or similar treatment from our partners.

At such a point we have two options, first, we can continue as we have been and allow things to work themselves out for better or worse, or second, we can be proactive and work toward improving our relationship.

Although the relationship may still seem fine at this point it is likely that there is an undercurrent waiting to cause real damage. Don't let that happen. Immediately begin working at making your relationship more exciting.

Consider the way things were in the early stages of your relationship and strive to get that back. Make phone calls to your partner during work hours just to say hello and that you love him/her. Leave little notes that will let him/her know you love them. Buy them small gifts for no reason at all. Pay attention to them when they speak. Plan special dates and surprises.

Okay - I am sure you get the idea. The point is that if you ignore the signs that your relationship is getting boring matters will only get worse.

Some couples are fine with a relationship that lacks excitement but if given the choice most would prefer a little sparkle and spice from time to time. Work on your sparkle today and you will have spice tonight!

Do You Want Your Ex Back?

I get emails regularly asking how to get an ex back. First of all it is important to realize that I can list steps to take and I can suggest other resources that may be helpful, but any information supplied will need to be altered to fit your individual personality and circumstances.

My first suggestion is allowing yourself time to accept the break up. This means different things to different people. Ultimately you will be able to discuss the situation without being so emotional that the discussion ends in tears or in anger.

After you reach this state of rationality you will be able to determine what went wrong and how you can fix things. I also suggest that you spend time working on you. Indulge yourself in ways that you have not done in recent times. Allow time for hobbies and reading. Work on eating healthier and exercising more.

You will find that you will grow as a person and will of course be making yourself better and more interesting to others. This includes your ex!

Speaking of your ex - you should avoid contact for awhile. I cannot give you a magic number of days or weeks to avoid him or her - that again will depend on the situations that you are dealing with. The real point is that you should allow yourself time to develop a plan so that you do not appear overly anxious to see or speak to your ex.

It is beyond the scope of this post to go into all the details of how to get an ex back but you can learn everything you need to know in "The Magic of Making Up" - that ebook has saved countless marriages and relationships.

I wish you the best of luck and please feel free to post comments here or to email me at: SundayDeb@gmail.com

Make Memories Together; Creating A Night To Remember!

Whether you are involved with the perfect person or not you may find that after awhile your relationship has lost some of the excitement it once had. It might be that you have gotten busy with a job or other responsibilities that you really do not have a lot of control over. But you need to make your relationship a priority. Take the time to create a special night. One night could make a huge difference in the way you and your partner get along.

Let's openly talk about the way that relationships can become dull and boring over time. It does not mean that the love is gone or that it is less than it was in the beginning. But what it does mean is that your relationship could use a little dusting off; you need to do something to liven it up a little. This article is about creating a night to remember. Do that in order to make memories together that you can enjoy forever.

Okay, I am not silly enough to believe that what makes a night special for me will necessarily make it special for anyone else. But because this event is being done to enhance your relationship I suggest that you try to create a night that will be special for your partner. That is, if you are working out the details alone. If the two of you plan the night then both partner's likes and dislikes should be considered.

Many of us enjoy having a complete night away from home for such an event. I encourage that. Being at home allows for too many obstacles to come into play. Things like people calling or dropping by. That could totally ruin the intent of the evening.

Another distraction can be the TV or even video games. I know that sounds silly to some but for others those things are very important. Other problems can be the computer or even a book or hobby. Getting away from home can help to keep the focus on the real purpose of the evening.

I will not try to plan a night for anyone but myself, however, I will offer some suggestions. If budget is a concern then keep in mind that the only necessary cost involved in this night will be where you stay. That can be minimized by shopping around. In fact, you could even consider a camping trip.

Decide ahead of time about your meals. You could pack a romantic picnic basket, complete with candles and wine or champagne and simply eat in your room. Or perhaps eating out would add to the event for you and your partner. The options are many.

Another tip is to agree before you begin the evening that you will leave any negatives out of your conversations. Additionally you might want to agree not to discuss specific people or topics that will keep you focused on your home life. Instead strive to focus on making the night special for each other.

Perhaps a simple card could be bought ahead of time and you can present it to your partner at the appropriate moment. Don't forget to take along a camera, you never know when you will want to capture a moment.

I always include a few candles and lotion or a soothing oil for massages. Almost everyone enjoys a relaxing massage from time to time. You can decide to spend the entire evening in your room or you can find local entertainment that suits you.

A quiet walk or window shopping is easy on the budget and can lead to long and heartfelt conversations. That is what this night is all about; getting back in touch with each other. Embrace the opportunity and take advantage of it, your relationship will grow because of it!

A Bedroom Picnic

Okay - this is one of my favorite things to do.....for me it is fun and romantic.

I make all the plans without involving my husband. I decide on some great food items and something wonderful to drink - yes, alcohol is usually involved! lol Then I prepare the bedroom for the picnic.

I am a lover of candles and great fragrances - I still burn incense! I like soft lighting and wonderful smells. I also enjoy music so I insure that I have the right music available.

Because I enjoy using the floor as a picnic area I will set out a nice comforter or blanket to sit on. I place lots of pillows around the area as well.

Now back to the actual picnic items. I am a vegetarian so I am perfectly content with not having any meat but my husband isn't. I try to include things that we both will enjoy. Sometimes I have a cheese tray with selected meat items, sometimes I stick with fresh fruit and vegetables, it really depends on the mood and the day. A nice loaf of great bread can be awesome. The picnic is not about eating really - it is about spending quality time with my husband.

This gives us an opportunity to really talk and get back to the basics of our relationship. Sometimes the picnic will end and we will go watch TV or simply carry on with our regular routines - other times the picnic results in an eventful night!
The point is that the picnic does not necessarily imply that we are going to do any particular thing to finish the night - but it opens the doors to lots of possibilities.

A bedroom picnic is fun! Try it and see what you think.

Getting Your Relationship Back On Track

Every relationship has its ups and downs. Have you ever visited a website of a relationship guru that says his or her relationship is perfect all the time? If you find one like that chances are he or she does not live in the real world.

I consider myself to be happily married and my husband and I have a strong relationship - but that does not mean that we don't get upset with one another from time to time and even treat each other will less respect than we should occasionally.

Life happens to all of us and when we are faced with unpleasant situations and circumstances we react. Unfortunately this might include being less the partner than we should be. Hopefully these times will be very short-lived and we can simply apologize and make up. After all, we want happiness in our relationship and to have that we need to be on the right track.

So how do we get back on the right track to treating our partner the way we should? Heart felt apologies really can go a long ways toward a resolution to the problem. But if the apology is not sincere or demonstrated with positive actions then the apology will have little meaning.

So begin with a real apology and then work at making things better. You might have to analyze first where and why things escalated to the point that they did. After all, it is difficult to solve a problem if you don't know what the real problem is. The key to getting back on track is finding a way to limit or eliminate the root cause of the underlying problem. If you cannot do that then you will need to work at a better way of dealing with the undesirable situation or circumstances.

Talk with your partner about the problem -he or she may be able to help you with any dilemmas that you cannot figure out for yourself. By involving your partner you will be explaining what has bothered you. This open communication is beneficial for a relationship. Your partner will be better able to understand your actions and behaviors --- this does not justify them, but having an understanding can help to alleviate some of the frustration felt by your partner.

Emotional Affairs; When Does A Friendship Cross The Line?

Every great relationship has a strong foundation. That foundation includes knowing all you can know about your partner. By having an understanding of what each of you find acceptable you can prevent future problems. This includes guidelines for outside friendships.

One of the preliminary steps to developing a strong foundation to your relationship is that of getting to know your partner. This includes learning about their feelings related to approval of friendships outside of the relationship. You really need to know if they accept friendships you already have and how they will feel about your associations with others in the future. This information will be helpful in knowing what friendships your partner may feel cross the line. Emotional affairs are very common and many platonic friendships seem to open the door to such affairs.

To begin let us define what an emotional affair is. In such friendships the partner gives an investment of emotional time and energy to the friendship. Not only that but he or she also receives emotional support and companionship.

As the platonic friendship grows and the emotional bonds get stronger there is a drain of the intimacy in the primary relationship. In fact, most experts consider emotional affairs as a form of cheating without sex. Studies have shown that emotional affairs very often open the door to full blown affairs.

Very often these friendships do start out innocently enough. But as they evolve there is an ever-increasing sharing of intimate information. The emotional affair is kept secret from the primary partner. And whether it is acknowledged or not, there is almost always a sexual attraction.

As time goes on time with the 'friend' becomes more interesting and important than time with the partner. The person involved in the emotional affair spends time thinking about the 'friend' when he or she is not around. There may be attempts at creating opportunities to have contact with the 'friend'.

The partner involved in the friendship may be completely guilt-free due to the absence of sex in the friendship. But as the friendship grows the primary relationship is likely to deteriorate. Since the partner has a support person within the friendship he or she may feel it is no longer needed with the primary partner.

Because the partner does not share information about the friendship there are lies, deception and betrayal. The primary partner is likely to view the emotional affair as damaging as a sexual affair; in some cases even more so. It seems some of us can accept our partner venturing out for sexual variety but when our partner is seeking emotional support and companionship elsewhere we feel extreme pain and hurt feelings.

As the friendship is justified as just a friendship the involved partner may continue to rationalize that it is acceptable. Then eventually he or she may find that there is a greater bond with the 'friend' than with the primary partner. The problems that can arise can end a relationship.

By understanding your partner early in your relationship you will know what is acceptable in outside friendships. You have a responsibility to share your heartfelt sentiments related to such matters. This opens the floor for a discussion that could prevent lots of problems in the future.

If you find that you are involved in a friendship that may cross over into an emotional affair you can step back and examine what the real attraction is. In most cases it will be a warning sign that you need to work on your primary relationship and focus all emotional energy there.

Sometimes It's The Small Things That Are Big!

I was spending some time with my husband earlier today - we sat down together to watch a movie. With all the channels we have we still could not find a movie that sounded interesting or that we had not seen. He like action and science fiction and I like romance and drama. it's really hard to find a movie that we both want to watch! :)

John, my husband always hands me the remote and lets me choose. Not that he is always happy with what I want to watch - but he is willing to watch whatever I pick. We like to sit side by side on the sofa. We cuddle and I always grab a throw for my lap - I am one of those people that is always cold. John knows that so he will hold my hands in his to keep them warm.

I just left John to come and write this post and do a few things at the desk - but he is certainly on my mind. On a daily basis he does things for me - it's just a part of who he is. I am very fortunate to have a husband like John and I am even more fortunate to have realized that.

If you are in a situation similar; one in which your partner is kind and loving then take notice of that and let him or her know that you appreciate it. If you are guilty of not being as kind and loving as you should be, then acknowledge that and work to do a better job.

Little things really can make a big difference in a relationship. Sometimes those things are right under our nose and we miss them. Pay attention to what you give and what you receive. You can enhance your relationship without any great effort.

Is Your Relationship Abusive?

When you find that special person you are sure to feel that your life is now complete. Your quest is finally over as you now have the person of your dreams. Sadly many people find that this person soon becomes a monster and escape is all they want.

It seems to happen overnight, the once perfect relationship is suddenly something quite different. You may find that you dread being around your partner. This could be because of fear of physical abuse or even the frustration and humiliation of emotional abuse. Either way your relationship is definitely in trouble. Surprisingly, many people accept abuse for a period of time before realizing that it is clearly a problem. If you suspect that your relationship may be an abusive one then it most likely is.

Abusive relationships often start out very different. In fact, a partner may seem very caring and concerned in the beginning. Part of this is that the partner is likely to be very possessive and jealous. In order to accommodate those needs he or she is likely to appear very attentive at first. This attentiveness can be flattering.

The attentiveness may mask the possessiveness for a period of time. But it is likely that soon you will realize that your new partner is attempting to monopolize your time. His or her jealousy may be as extreme as to include being jealous of long time friends and even family members.

Sometimes the partner decides that by giving in and spending time with the new partner many arguments can be avoided. This is likely to have a snowball effect. The more you give in the more controlling your mate becomes and expects you to give in.

Many people in abusive situations become very secretive about what is going on in the relationship. This may be due to fear or even shame and embarrassment. After all, we do realize that a healthy relationship is not abusive in anyway but once we are involved and in the middle of the mess getting out can seem almost impossible.

There are various types of abuse; physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual. We all have a clear understanding of what physical abuse is. But it is important to understand that even if there are no marks left behind, abuse is abuse. When it comes to emotional and verbal abuse we are referring to abusive language as well as degrading comments. And anytime sex is used as a tool or weapon it is wrong.

Abusive partners find ways to twist the circumstances so that the blame is always yours. Besides using humiliation as a weapon he or she attempts to control your life in ways that a partner should not. He or she may demand that you dress a certain way or refrain from doing something that seems harmless. He or she may threaten you or threaten to harm their self if things do not go the way they want them to.

Abusive relationships are never healthy. A healthy relationship is built on the foundation of respect, consideration and trust. If you are involved in a relationship that lacks that foundation then it is time to make some immediate changes. I always say that you cannot give love appropriately if you do not love and care for yourself first. It is time to put yourself first. Take the initial steps toward the future that you deserve and get help now! 

Perfect Christmas Gift

I recently posted about Christmas Gift ideas but I had two emails this morning requesting this information. As seen on Oprah, this is the company that provides elegant messages on parchment-like paper. The message comes in a beautiful bottle of your choosing and it is sent in a wooden container to ensure safe delivery. You can write your own message or choose from hundreds of professionally written messages.......there is sure to be one that fits your exact needs and personality.

I am sure you will be proud of giving this gift and it will be cherished. Check it out below!


Timeless Message in a Bottle stands alone in quality and elegance. Personalized,unique, and only the finest of quality. A Personalized Christmas,Anniversary,
A Fabulous Marriage Proposal or any of life's special occasions or just to say I love you. "When Cards and Flowers are not enough" send a Timeless Message."We've Captured the Art...of Speaking to the Heart.

A Break Up Can Be Devastating; How To Get Through The First Days

Your reaction to a break up is very dependent on your personality type and how strong the relationship was. For some people simply picking up the pieces of their broken heart and moving on is the answer but for others it will take a lot of work - especially if the goal is to get the ex back.

As human beings it is in our nature to love others. Living and loving is what we do. Some of us are very free with our feelings and share them quickly. For others it takes a lot to get us to open up and share ourselves.

It seems that for that group of people a break up can often be even more devastating than for most people. Perhaps you fall into that classification. I know I do.

I love people but in order for me to really let someone see the real me, the me that is on the inside, I have to have strong feelings for them. And when I decide to open up my heart to someone I feel very vulnerable.

I guess that goes back to my first love. Okay, I know now that it was only a teenage love that would never had lasted but when it ended I was totally devastated. At the time I thought I was with the person that I would spend the rest of my life with.

Funny how time changes things! Anyway, lots of boyfriends and two husbands later I know that that loss was not a loss at all.

So I guess I am giving away my age here, but I have also raised four children, which are all grown now. So obviously I have dealt with not only my own but also the heartaches of my children as they were growing up and finding their significant others.

Well, my advice may not be the traditional but it is what I have found to work. When a break up first happens you are justified in feeling badly. Whether you do the breaking up or you get the axe break ups are hard. After all, you have opened to that person and shared intimate moments.

I say it is fine to let your grief and sorrow out but only for a day or two. After that you simply must focus on the rest of your life. For one thing, you can be grateful that you are feeling sad about a break up and not a death. You see, with a break up there is always the possibility of a make up.

I am not saying that every relationship should be saved but almost every one could be saved if approached correctly. So take a couple of days, or take a few days for your grieving. Eat your favorite comfort foods and cry when you feel like it. Do what makes you feel good.

Expressing your sadness is a good thing. The bad thing is that many times friends and family members are not as helpful as they would like to be. In fact, it seems that in many cases they seem to say and do exactly the wrong things. You will need to be patient with them and realize that their intentions are good.
But after a few days you really need to get a gripe on moving forward. Start by assessing the situation and consider what you need to do in order to move forward.

I always suggest that working on you is the absolute best start no matter what the circumstances are. Get yourself in good shape both physically and mentally. Be good to yourself. Treat yourself special in some way. If you like to read then go buy yourself a good book. If you like candles and soft music then indulge in that.

Self development can be a wonderful tool at a time like this. Do some research online. Take the time to work on yourself and to thoroughly evaluate where you are in life and the relationship that ended. This will help you make rational decisions about what your next step should be.

Relationships & The Importance Of Knowing Yourself

A key to a great relationship is finding someone that is what you really want and need. But that is a difficult task if you are not sure who you are and what you want, and what is essential to you.

Understanding yourself will aid in making wise relationship choices. For instance, if your dream is to have a home in the country with animals and kids running around then a relationship with someone that loves city life may be challenging. Compromises will need to be made or dreams will need to be forgotten.

Knowing how strongly you feel about particular issues will enable you to decide upfront which things can be negotiated and which are absolutely vital to a successful relationship for you. Kids are always a major issue. Some people want to have kids and others do not. Even if both of you want children there are lots of decisions to be made related to how they will be raised. Religion and education will be a concern.

Basic lifestyles are another important consideration. Some people are homebodies and others love the social life. Some people eat healthy foods and exercise regularly while others do not. All of these things and much more should be considered. Decide what you are willing to compromise on and what is an absolute deal breaker.

Build Your Relationship On Friendship For A Rock Solid Foundation

The average person becomes involved in at least a few relationships before finding one that is right. This is probably a good thing because the failed relationships are really not failures at all.

Like anything in life, when we do not totally succeed we should consider the experience as valuable because we were presented with the opportunity to learn. If you look back over your own or other relationships that you are familiar with that did not work for some reason you can learn more about what makes a lasting relationship.

For me it seems that honesty is essential in a trusting relationship. I have even known couples that had open relationships but if the honesty was not complete then there were problems.

When I consider the relationships that I have in my life and relationships of others that I am aware of it appears that the best ones involve two friends. I am sure that most if not all relationships begin with at least some form of friendship.

We meet someone, we think they are perfect for us, and the relationship continues. This is where many of us make a mistake. We assume that because this person seems so perfect for us that things will continue in a positive manner forever without any work on our part.

Whether you consider it work or fun, when the two of you are discussing hobbies, work, families, friends, or anything else you should be using that time to explore any areas that the two of you can use to increase the bond you already have.

For instance, if you both like to read but you like different types of books you could regular trips to your local bookstore and you could explore the shelves together. I know this does not sound like a lot but if this becomes a habit for your time together it will become a special time together.

You do not have to find extravagant or expensive things that will bond you. There are low-cost classes for practically any topic you can think of. Taking a class together means that you are committing to a long term project together. That in itself is a way of committing to one another.

Not only will you spend the time together but something like that helps to build memories that you will treasure for years to come. Be the best friend you can be to your partner and expect nothing less from him or her.

Get Your Ex Back In Five Easy Steps

When your heart is broken all you want is a quick fix. Unfortunately a quick make up will not repair the broken relationship. Other steps have to be taken before you can start to put the relationship back together.

Living through a difficult break up can be awful. You lose sleep, you may lose weight or the opposite, and you may gain weight. Many times people seem to lose interest in almost everything, they are depressed and that is all that can be said.

So the burning question is how can you get your ex back and how can you do it quickly; in a step by step fashion! The good news is that there are ways to make up with ex lovers but the bad news is that the work starts with you.

I know you want to get to the heart of this article so here are the five steps:

1) Get yourself in order
2) Get your home life in order
3) Assess your relationship
4) Considering your ex and his or her preferences develop your plan
5) Enact your plan

Number one is referring to you taking care of yourself. I know it is probably the last thing on your mind right now but now more than ever before it is important that you look and feel your best. Take care of you so that you can follow these steps.

Now that you are looking good it is time to get your life back in order. Start by cleaning your house. Yes, I know that sounds silly but trust me, it is all part of the bigger plan. You see, the better you feel about things the more confidence you will have and a lot will depend on your confidence.

You are already on step three. How easy is that; okay, you really do not have to answer that question. This step can take a little time because you truly need to be objective. Think about your relationship as if you were a stranger looking in at it. Write a description of what they might see. Describe the type of partners each of you are as well as any other details.

From there you can add your own perspectives. Really take your time with this. Remember that this is only a tool; it is meant to help you discover any shortcomings in the relationship and things that you may have missed before.

Now you are ready to develop a make up plan. Obviously you know your ex very well. Using that information combined with what you learned in step 3 you should create a plan that tailor made for you and your ex. Keep the following points in mind when constructing your plan:

1) Do not expect overnight results
2) Always focus on the interests of your partner when creating the plan
3) Do not be pushy
4) Your goal is to develop a slow but steady foundation for a solid future
5) Focus on the friendship first

You should now be ready to move forward with your plan. For ideas and specific techniques you can read the ebook called The Magic Of Making Up. I wish you all the best!!!

Christmas Gifts That Last!

Are you wondering what to get your partner for Christmas? Have you gone through a list of things and decided that none of them were right?

Don't worry, you are not alone. In fact, in yesterday's emails I had two requests for gift suggestions.

Funny that I would be asked that about people that I don't know but the reality is there are solutions that are not too difficult or costly for that matter.

Of course you want to give a gift that will be appreciated. One way to do that is to give a useful gift. For example, a golfer would probably appreciate something related to the activity. A scrap-booker would appreciate supplies, etc.

But if you really want to give a gift that will last you may need to go one step deeper. Wonderful memories last a lifetime. With that being said if you can plan a vacation or even a one-night getaway you will be creating a memorable gift. Even a special night out can be filled with magical moments that are not forgotten.

But of course we want to include a tangible gift...something that can be held and touched. A nice piece of jewelry fits that description nicely and you can find something to meet every budget. Another great gift is the message in a bottle. I am not including the link here but it is on this blog in the side panel and in other posts.

This company creates a wonderful message on parchment paper - you can write your own messages or choose from hundreds of professionally crafted messages. Then you select a bottle that the message will be delivered in. Again, there are lots to choose from and the prices vary. The glass bottle is protected by a small wooden crate that it is shipped in. To me this is one of the most wonderful gifts anyone could give or receive.

Okay - do you have some gift ideas now? I hope this helped!!!

The Mechanics Of A Break Up And The Remedy

Your friends and family are well intentioned. They think they know what is best for you when they say just move on. Some have said you should ignore your ex, just completely put him or her out of your mind, and others have suggested that you should be friends. But you know in your heart that all you want is what you had before.

Life can be cruel and it can be difficult. So what do you do; do you listen to your friends or do you follow your heart. Let me tell you a story about one of my friends because it might help you.

Natasha is a 21 year old student at a local college. She and David seemed to be the perfect couple until David met Tonya. David did not tell Natasha about Tonya right away. Actually, David and Tonya began seeing each other very innocently. They worked together after school at a diner and soon learned that they shared an interest in video games.

Natasha had always tried to shame David about playing video games, telling him that they are a waste of time and money. Tonya on the other hand not only discussed the games on the same level as David but she challenged him to a match at any game he wanted to play. Of course that was hard to refuse! David and Tonya’s friendship grew.

And as their friendship grew Natasha and David seemed to grow farther and farther apart. When David told Natasha about his friendship with Tonya she automatically jumped to conclusions and broke up with him. She assumed that David was doing a lot more with Tonya than just playing video games.

Now looking at this relationship from the outside it is much easier to see some things that can be done to fix the problems. Obviously we do not have the emotions to deal with here that Natasha does. But it is clear to me that Natasha could have handled this situation differently and if she had her relationship would be intact and probably stronger than ever.

Fast forward; Natasha bought the ebook, The Magic Of Making Up, and followed some advice in it. In a nutshell, Natasha and David are back together but it took some work. Natasha bought David a video game and asked him to teach her how to play it. She now enjoys video games, though certainly not as much as David or Tonya. Natasha and Tonya became friends but since that time Tonya has moved away.

David and Natasha are now engaged. Their future looks bright and for now at least David continues to include video games as part of his entertainment. Natasha has accepted this as part of David.

What Do You Want From Your Relatinship?

Are you looking for love, security, a friend, a partner.....or are you simply in search of romance?

What is it that makes a relationship one that you enjoy?

I suggest that you do a little soul-searching before entering into a relationship. When you know what you want you can more easily develop a plan that will take you there.

The Stages In Realtionships

Have you ever thought about the many stages or levels of involvement our relationships go through before we reach the stage of complete unity? I have.

It seems that all relationships begin with friendship and romance. The longer lasting ones build on the friendship throughout the life of the relationship.

What other stages do you think relationships go through? What do you believe it takes for us to reach a level of complete trust in another? When do we feel a sense of commitment; does that come after a certain thing has happened or been said?

Just pondering this morning....I would love your thoughts!

Giving Thanks

Since it is the day before Thanksgiving gratitude is heavy on my mind. You may or may not know that I live my life according to the principles of the Laws of Attraction. I have learned that gratitude and appreciation are important - why?

Realizing what you have to be grateful for forces you to show more appreciation for it. This can include material possessions but the people in your life and the experiences you have had are much more important.

When you truly appreciate someone it will come through in the way you interact with them. Try this little tip - it will improve your outlook on life...REALLY:

Each morning before you get out of bed take a moment to reflect on all that you have to be grateful for. Then choose a focus for your day from the list. At various times throughout the day think about all the wonderful things that person or experience has brought into your world.

HAPPY THANKSGIVINGS!!!!

Bedroom Fun Begins Elsewhere

This is just a little reminder that if you want to have a great time in the bedroom then you need to begin your seduction efforts early in the day. I am not saying that you won't have fun if you don't plan things out but I am saying that you can build the excitement throughout the day and make the bedroom time even more exhilarating.

Dirty talk is one way to create an air of excitement. Let your partner know that you are looking forward to the fun ahead. The more explicit you are about the details of the fun you plan to have the more the excitement will build. Whisper to your lover some of the little comments that are usually saved for the bedroom.

Treat your lover with kindness at every interaction and use naughty little comments to add some spice to your conversations. Besides the dirty talk you can have some items handy in the bedroom that will add to your fun.

Candle light is always a soothing glow that adds ambiance to a room. Body oils can be used for mutual massages. Body paint can be fun and lead to lots of interesting activities and discussions. Consider playing games to add some fun.

Bathing together can be both soothing and exciting. Okay, I'm stopping for now but that should be enough to get you started on the pathway to a fun and eventful evening!

Ideas And Suggestions????

I write articles on a daily basis - most of them are related to ways to improve relationships. In fact, I am also working on a new product that will consist of several ebooks or modules....each will cover one specific topic related to the category of relationships.

I plan to have one on dating, one on communication in a relationship, one on keeping the love alive - basic ways to enhance a relationship, commitment, plus lots more. Each module will be available as an individual purchase or the entire package will be available at a special offer price.

Additionally the products will be available in audio and as a regular book format for purchase at Amazon.

I am always open to any ideas or suggestions for blog topics, article topics, or things to include in my product package. Please shoot me an email at: SundayDeb@gmail.com or leave a comment here at the blog.

Thanks for reading!

A Great Gift Idea

Are you having trouble coming up with a gift idea for your partner? I know how it is, you want to give them something meaningful but you do have a budget to consider. I always say that really knowing your partner helps in this situation because you can fall back on some of their interests or hobbies.

For example, if your boyfriend likes to fish you can choose from a large assortment of fishing supplies - there's something for every budget, from fishing tackle all the way up to a boat! If your girlfriend is into sewing you could buy her sewing supplies or the latest model of sewing machine. If your partner likes to read you could buy a book or a gift certificate to a nice bookstore.

But what if you still don't have any ideas? It's still easy.....think about this for a moment. We all love to have nice things said to us, right? With the company that sends the messages in a bottle you can write your own message or choose from what seems to be thousands of wonderfully crafted messages. They thought of everything! The messages cover every holiday - including Christmas and Valentine's Day, and they cover every occasion - including birthdays, anniversaries, and even break ups!

The message will be written on high quality parchment paper and sent in a beautiful bottle chosen by you. The bottle comes in a wooden crate to protect it. They are all beautiful and make a gift that will be cherished forever.

Check it out by clicking on the information below!
Timeless Message in a Bottle stands alone in quality and elegance. Personalized,unique, and only the finest of quality. A Personalized Christmas,Anniversary,
A Fabulous Marriage Proposal or any of life's special occasions or just to say I love you. "When Cards and Flowers are not enough" send a Timeless Message."We've Captured the Art...of Speaking to the Heart.

See What You Think!

Steps To Getting Your Ex Back

I constantly get questions about how to get an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend back....but perhaps it is my imagination but I believe the past month or so there have been an enormous amount of break ups. Do you think it has anything to do with the economy or maybe with the fact that the holidays are approaching?

Anyway, I wanted to re-post the basic steps to getting your ex back so that a greater number of people could benefit. I realize that only a small portion of my readers actually email me their questions.

Okay, here it is - the break up happens. It might seem to come from out of no where or maybe you were expecting it. Either way, you are not happy about it and you want your ex back.

The first thing you need to do is deal with your hurt and frustration. Allow your emotions to come out in a healthy way. Some people take time off from work and to some degree they take time off from everything to allow for this phase. It is healthy to cry and vent but it is not healthy to harm yourself or others in any way, shape or form.

Give yourself a time limit for that phase. It should not be anymore than a week. Three days is better if you can manage that. Next you need to devote time for you. This is an opportunity to indulge in whatever it is that you enjoy. Suggestions include watching movies that you love, reading books, painting, bowling, ....etc. You get the idea, do the things that you like to do. Socialization is good but spending time alone can also be helpful. You see, during this time you will also be evaluating your relationship.

Do be honest with yourself. Determine if the relationship was a healthy one and why it is that you want your ex back. You may find that it really is not what you want.
But if it is this will give you the time to assess what problems exist and how they can be resolved. It will also provide you with the time necessary to develop a plan of getting your ex back.

You should begin slowly - taking care to add in any elements that were missing from the relationship before. If you want specifics then I recommend the ebook, "The Magic of Making Up." This ebook will provide the details needed from start to finish to getting your ex back. Your renewed relationship will be stronger than ever! You can get more information about the ebook in the blog side panel or by clicking here:
The Magic Of Making Up

Should Sex Be Used As A Reward?

I received a question last week about how to handle a partner that 'only gives sex as a reward for good behavior'.

As I pondered this particular situation I wondered if all of us perhaps use sex in some ways. For example, have you ever had sex with your partner on a special occasion because it was a special occasion and not necessarily because you wanted it? If so, was that sex a part of the celebration and if it was who benefited from it?

Of course we commonly read about the wife that fakes orgasm or the other one that has a headache. And yes, I even get requests from men that want to know how to handle a partner that wants sex more than they do.

What are your thoughts? Please post any comments here or you can email them directly to me at: SundayDeb@gmail.com

Take The Time To Get To Know Your Partner

I know this sounds silly to stress but it really is important that you truly know your partner. Learn everything you can about him or her. This not only adds to your friendship but it puts you in a great position in lots of other ways as well.

For example, if you truly know your partner then you will understand his or her actions better. You will understand and accept the way they behave because you are in touch with their inner self.

Another advantage will be when it comes to buying your partner gifts. If you really know what matters to your partner then you won't have to wonder what would be a well appreciated gift.

Ideally you will take the time to know and understand your partner before the relationship grows and continue this learning process throughout the process. Just a thought for the day.....if you need to know your partner better then why not begin working on that right now? Dedicate at least 20 to 30 minutes today for a real conversation with your partner. Make it focused on your partner. Ask open-ended questions so you get real responses instead of a yes or no answer.

Then continue the art of conversation with your partner daily. You may find out that he or she is more interesting than you thought!

A Little About Me

I thought I would tell you about myself and my background. I just wanted you to understand how and why I am involved in relationship information and advice.

First of all, you need to know that my life experiences have been varied. Because of that I have had all types of relationships and met some very interesting people along the way.

I married my first husband when I was only 19. I really think the appeal was the adventure of being married - I just wanted to try it because as a little girl I had always dreamed about growing up and being married. Well that marriage ended in divorce 4 1/2 years later. However, I did have a beautiful daughter during that time.

Although I did not marry again for a few years I was constantly involved with the man that I am now married to, my life partner. I cannot say that it was love at first sight for us but I will say that he completely rocked my world after I got to know him.

When we got married I was a stay at home mom. That is what we both wanted. Within the first few years of marriage we had two sons. Life was great - for awhile. But soon I realized that I wanted more in my life than cleaning house and taking care of others. How ironic is this - I decided to go to nursing school.

After receiving my BSN I worked at a large psychiatric hospital. You probably know that nurses have to work odd hours sometimes. My shift was 7p to 7a. It did not take long for that to have a negative impact on my marriage and my family life.

I moved into administration. I became the Nurse Educator. I did that for about 7 years and then I moved into Organizational Development. I became a practitioner and I went back to school. That is when I found my attraction to the Internet.

Throughout all of this my marriage has had its ups and downs. In fact, my husband and I even separated for a period of about six months.

Anyway, the psychiatric background has helped me in all aspects of my life...including my understanding of others and relationships. I also should add that living life adds to anyone's knowledge base.

My kids are all grown now. I also raised a girl from the age of 15 on. That's a long story but I feel in my heart that she is also my daughter. Amazingly she and my youngest son are now together. I am very fortunate!

So after living and learning and researching and studying I have learned a lot about relationships. I am a good listener - I've always been told that and people have always come to me for advice. I am always amazed that most people really only want someone to listen to them. I know that is true because many times I have listened to a friend or colleague only be told that they appreciated my advice. In reality I did not give advice, instead I offered to really listen to them and allow them to vent.

You see most people already have the answers to their problems but until they have an opportunity to talk about it they don't realize it. Or perhaps it is easier to do something that maybe you don't want to do if you can tell yourself that someone else thinks that is what you should do...

Okay - that's enough about me! The point is that I love learning and researching about human interactions and relationships. I want to help you in anyway that I can.

The Difficulties Of Dealing With A Break Up

Break ups are never easy. It really does not matter which side of the fence you are on - a break up forces changes in your life. And let's face it, some of us do not like changes of any kind.

That alone can make the break up difficult to accept. After all, you had things working in a sort of system or routine - you basically knew what you would be doing, where you would be doing, and who you would be with - that is, until the break up.

When you mix in the fact that you are devastated by your loss it is understandable that you are depressed and miserable. But that is not what this post is about. This post is to provide encouragement and support.

I always encourage people living through such a difficult time to allow a few days or even a week to accept and adjust to the idea of the change. I know that the sadness and feeling of loss may continue for a lot longer but you mentally need time to adjust. During this period you should allow yourself to seek refuge in a comfortable place (staying home is a popular choice) and to verbalize your feelings and even openly cry (it is healthy to vent your emotions).

But at the end of that stage you need to move forward. Start by focusing on being good to yourself and getting to know you - the person that has been hiding since during your relationship days. Get in touch with that person that has been neglected in some way and make it up to yourself.

This is a great time to read a self-development or self-improvement book. Focus on building your confidence and self-esteem. In other words, be all you can be. This makes you a stronger and more attractive person.

It is at that time that you can really begin moving into the future. If you want your ex back then you will be ready to work on that. If you want to leave the past behind you and move forward you will be a pillar of strength that is ready for a new beginning.

I always say that things happen for a reason and they turn out just the way they are supposed to. It is our job to allow the good to come to us. Be sure to sign up to receive your free report on "Building Lasting Relationships" - use the form in the sidebar. If you need help getting through a break up you should consider "The Magic Of Making Up" - that book has helped lots of people and it is going strong - watch the videos on this blog and check out the ebooks available. You will find the help you need!

Best of luck in all you do!

Can Your Relationship Go The Distance In Life?

Sometimes I get questions from people wanting to know if I think their relationship will last. Sadly I cannot predict which relationships are strong enough to survive life's up and downs and which are not.

But you should have a good understanding of how strong your relationship really is. I always advocate building a relationship on a solid foundation of friendship. The truth is that those are the relationships that seem to not only survive but they actually thrive as time goes on.

If your relationship was not founded on friendship then it will be necessary to build that friendship as time goes on. Don't worry, lots of couples start their relationship without a solid friendship and they build it over time. As long as you become great friends the rest will be much easier - after all, you already have the love that is necessary for a great bond!

In building or strengthening your relationship work on doing things together that you both enjoy. Engage in real conversations. Spend time together doing whatever possible. Hold hands and cuddle up. Learn all you can about one another and add an activity to your relationship that will create a new bond.

With love and friendship your relationship will go far!!!

Making Your Relationship The Most It Can!

Hello,

Today I want to talk to you a little bit about how you can make the most of the relationship you have. Let me begin by saying that a relationship needs to have a solid foundation of friendship for long-term survival.

That is important because life has a way of throwing us curve balls. When that happens we will want to have the support of our partner. A friendship helps to insure that our relationship will survive those curve balls.

But as time goes on we often find that our relationship is somewhat stale. So what can we do to liven it up - to get it back where it used to be? Let me say that I believe finding the hidden spark can easily be done if you go back to the basics.

Remember how the relationship started. Consider what your initial attraction was and how you treated each other then. Take the time to really remember what it was like.

Go back to some of those behaviors. It may be that you used to call your partner daily while you were away from home. Why not do that again? Or how about writing a note or a card that expresses your heartfelt desires for your relationship.

Plan a few special times together. You could have a special night out or even make a weekend of it. Spend some one-on-one time. Focus on your partner.

By making your relationship a priority you will find that it becomes alive again! Enjoy what you have. Continue to give it the love and attention required to keep it growing! Make it a lifelong event!

Best of luck - Talk Soon!!

Debbie C. Allen

Watch This Video!

How To Get Your Ex Back; Part Two

After all the work you have done to get yourself back in great emotional shape you do not need to do anything that will put that at risk. So if you contact your ex you need to be prepared for whatever may happen. It is always wise to determine where you stand with your ex before contacting him or her. In many cases this is done through a mutual friend.

But you should begin slowly regardless of how things seem to be going. An 'accidental' meeting could be arranged with the sole purpose being to say hello and a real quick conversation. This initial meeting should be very brief. Another option is to call your ex. I suggest that you plan a purpose behind the call. There is usually something left behind by the ex that you could call him or her about. Or you could just call and say that you wanted to say hi and see how he or she was doing. This should be acceptable since you were so important to each other such a short time ago.

The initial meeting should allow you to determine if your ex has an interest in the relationship. Remember to keep the first meeting brief. This includes phone calls. Keep in mind that you have been working on making yourself stronger. Let that strength shine through.

If the initial meeting or phone call results in your ex asking about a date or another meeting of some sort remember to move ahead slowly. I am not suggesting that you play hard to get, but I am cautioning you against jumping right back into the relationship.

I know that it is hard to resist but you need to keep in mind that your goal is to create a lasting relationship. Obviously there were problems with the relationship in the past. If those issues are not clearly defined, addressed, and resolved they will rear their ugly heads again.

Do not set yourself up for another failed relationship. This time work on developing an open, respectful, honest, and trusting relationship. This will be built on a strong foundation of friendship. The only other ingredient required is love and you already have that.

For complete advice and guidance related to getting your ex back you should check out "The Magic of Making Up." This is the number one resource of its kind! You can find details about the ebook in the right-hand column of this blog and in other blog posts. Get the book and you will be on your way to getting your ex back!!!

Months ago I began promoting quality resources for relationship information. I got involved in this particular topic because I have always been interested in how people interact and what makes some relationships work and why others do not.

I have studied and researched information related to this topic. With a background in psychiatric nursing this is a natural extension of my interests. I have always been a people watcher.

Okay, enough about me for now........I just wanted to thank all of the readers of my articles that have emailed me. Some of you went to great lengths to find my email address and I appreciate that. Many of you have emailed me specific questions about your situations. I have responded to the best of my ability and I will continue to do so. In fact, I have set up a special email account just for that purpose. For any relationship questions or comments please email me at:
SundayDeb@gmail.com

Additionally I wanted to let you know that I am working on a relationship guide. This will include everything needed, from preparing yourself for a relationship, to determining if your partner is right for you, ways to establish and enhance your relationship, what to do when things go wrong, and everything in between. It will be a sort of one-stop-shop for all your relationship needs.

I will include information from the best of my articles as well as new research. I may even include case studies from some of the emails that I have received (of course, real names will be changed).

I will continue to scour the Internet for great resources for anyone seeking ways to establish, improve, or renew their relationship. You see, I have had lots of relationships throughout my life and I have been the go-to person for many of my friends and relatives. I do not claim that my relationship is perfect - in fact, I am married to my second husband (over 25 years now!) and we have had our ups and downs. I believe that provides me the opportunity to better understand and relate to problems that other couples experience.

Life happens to all of us but it is how we handle the situations that count. Bumps in the road can make you and your relationship stronger or they can tear things apart. Learning what to do, being proactive, and thinking before taking action is often key to the longevity of a relationship.

Please feel free to email me and I will give you my response as soon as possible. I will keep you posted on the upcoming ebook I mentioned. The ebook will also be available as a print version.

Wishing you all the best!

Build Your Friendship First!

Relationships that last are relationships with a strong foundation. The strongest foundation you can have is one that is a combination of friendship, love, and respect. Start with a friendship. Find out what you have in common. Believe it or not, doing fun things together will strengthen your bonds. Learn about the other person.

If you understand the person inside that person you can more easily accept the things they do and say. Just as with any friend in your life you will not always agree with their choices but because you understand and respect them you will appreciate why they have done whatever it is.

Early in the relationship it is good to discuss dreams and goals. If your relationship is to be a long one chances are those plans will impact you. Determine early on how the two of you will work together when problems arise. Compromises are likely to be a part of any healthy relationship.

When things get out of hand you should know that you can discuss the situation and work together to resolve any problems. Of course sometimes things seem to be beyond repair. The good news is that in almost every relationship with a strong foundation - problems can be resolved....even after a break up!

Find out more about solutions by visiting this link: Magic of Making Up

Check out the sign up form on the right to get a free report about relationships!

Save Your Relationship

Relationships go through hard times and easy times. There may even be an occasion in which one partner cheats on the other. It could be a one time deal or it could be an ongoing affair. But even if that happens the relationship does not necessarily have to end.

Let me tell you about a situation a friend of mine was dealing with. I will call her Sandy. Sandy called me one day to say that she thought her husband was having an affair. Because she was so upset I went right over to console her.

When I got there I found that Sandy looked as if she had not slept in days and the house was very messy. After a brief conversation I talked Sandy into taking a shower so we could go out for lunch. Fortunately she agreed and we actually ended up having a pleasant lunch.

She did share with me some of the intimate details of the problems she and her husband had been having. That may not be the best thing to do when you are having issues with your partner. But it did seem to make my friend feel better.

Just so you know though I do not advocate nor advise that you share details with friends. But let me continue and I will explain as I go. Sandy said that her husband had been working a lot of overtime. The long hours were only adding to her suspicions.

Here is a tip, be careful with accusations and suspicions that have no solid foundation. I asked my friend if her husband was being paid extra for the overtime he had been working. She seemed surprised that I would ask that and explained that he had made enough extra money for them to make a few purchases that they had been putting off.

For Details Of A One-of-a Kind Ebook That Will Provide Tips & Advice To Help You With Your Relationship Click This Text

Tip number two, look for evidence of whatever it is that you believe as well as something that validates what your partner tells you. The next complaint Sandy claimed was that because her husband is working longer hours he is tired when he comes home and they have not spent much time together.

My friend explained that her husband has not been doing any of his chores around the house. But the final blow was when her husband called to say that some of the guys from the office were stopping for a drink after work.

I am sure you can guess what Sandy was thinking. So she waited up for her husband. I wanted to know how late he was and she said he was home by 10pm. As you can imagine the accusations were flown in his face when he walked in the door.

Because Sandy was upset she said a lot of things that should not have been said. And because her husband was tired and also fed up with the accusations the argument escalated. It ended when Sandy told her husband to get out of the house.

With the details cut and dry like this it is easy to see where the problems began and what went wrong.

First of all you can see that Sandy was overly suspicious. After all, her husband had proof of his actual work time because he was bringing home extra money. But perhaps he was at fault because he was working so much. Obviously if the money was going for purchases they could have done without so much.

And Sandy could have been more understanding about him being tired when he got home. Maybe some of the money could have been tagged for paying someone to help with some of the chores around the house.

Learning how to talk things out before the problem gets out of hand is a basic tool when you are trying to save a relationship. It seems that many break ups occur because tempers are hot and feelings are hurt. Tip number three is do not have a serious or important discussion until you can do so calmly.

Taking Care Of You

When you think about the past your heart breaks because you want your ex back so badly. You may be living with guilt or shame about something you did or said that caused some of the problems in your relationship - but STOP IT!!!

You are only human and as humans we make mistakes - we are not perfect. So give yourself credit for the good things you did in the relationship, acknowledge and learn from your mistakes. Things WILL get better.

The first step to getting your ex back or to getting on with your life is to do nothing! I know that sounds ridiculous but you really do need to take time to chill out. Initially you may be so sad and distraught that you need a few days to come to terms with what has happened. Give that to yourself. Let your tears flow if that is what you feel like doing. But you will need to set a limit on that. Tell yourself that you have a maximum of three days to be overwhelmed with sadness.

At the end of that period you need to work on moving forward. And I know you want to call your ex right away but DON'T. Give yourself time to get reacquainted the real you. Indulge yourself. Do something selfish. Make yourself happy by being your own best friend and doing the things you like to do. Consider buying a good book or watching a great movie. Soak in the tub. I am sure you can think of something that you truly enjoy, and probably something that you have not allowed yourself to enjoy in a long time. Take care of you!

After you get yourself in order, both mentally/emotionally and physically then you can begin thinking about getting your ex back.

For a great book that will guide you through the process you should order the Magic Of Making Up. This one resource will be all you need to work through this difficult time.

Just click on the link below:

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The Perfect Message!

Whether you want to break up or make up the words may be difficult to find. Perhaps you simply want to say "I love you" but you want to say it in a special way...

Fortunately there is a way to do this beautifully and without causing any stress on your part. Check out the banner below.



Not only can you read message after message before selecting the one that speaks to your heart (so you know it will speak to that special someone as well) -- but if you choose you can even write your own message!

Then check out the awesome selection of bottles that the messages come in. They are absolutely gorgeous! Plus - the bottle is safely packaged in a wooden box. This is the perfect keepsake...a gift anyone would treasure!

Timeless Message in a Bottle stands alone in quality and elegance. Personalized,unique, and only the finest of quality. A Personalized Christmas,Anniversary,
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The Magic Of Making Up…Is This For Real

When I first came across this product The Magic Of Making Up, I thought it had to be a scam. I mean, come on, who is this guy, TW Jackson, but then I read the salespage through. And I thought to myself how I would have loved to have had that information when I was feeling depressed over a break up many years ago.

Few among us have never been through a disappointing relationship of some kind. Whether it was a true break up or not most of us have at least felt the uncontrollable hurt and depression when we have wished for a closer relationship with someone and we felt ignored to some degree.

Perhaps you personally have experienced some of the following symptoms after a bad break up; if not you then I am sure you know someone that has:

1) Avoiding some music because certain songs will make you cry
2) Loss of appetite
3) Binge eating
4) Calling, texting, or emailing your ex repeatedly
5) Constantly checking your emails and voicemails in hopes of finding a message from him or her
6) Not going out because you might miss a call or visit from him or her
7) Constantly thinking about why they REALLY left you
8) Feeling urges to spy on him or her
9) Endlessly reviewing what you should have said or did
10) Constantly rehearsing what you will say to him or her if you ever get the chance

But even with all your planning life usually does not happen like we want it to. When you do see your ex you seem to panic and that plan, all that rehearsing that you did is forgotten and you become defensive. An argument ensues and things end up worse than before.

How does that happen; well, for starters, out of our panic we try to convince them that we are the love of their life. We begin apologizing profusely for EVERYTHING. We promise to change, but at the same time we try to get them to see that the problem really was not our fault. We will even beg them to take us back. They become more distant, defensive and angrier as we speak.

This is where the ebook, The Magic of Making Up can be so valuable. This ebook has some great tips and techniques in it. It does not matter if you are male or female. It does not matter if you live in the United States or in England. It does not even matter if you are married, engaged, or you just wanted to be.

TW Jackson practically takes you by the hand and puts you in a better frame of mind. You will lose the panic. You will learn how to determine where you stand in the heart and mind of your ex. And you will learn what you need to do to get where you want to go and how to stay there.

In no time at all you will be listening to music again without worrying what song is coming up next; no sad memories to worry with any longer! Your appetite will return, you will sleep peacefully and you will go through your days happily. You will find yourself planning your future instead of living in the past. And it will not bother you to see happy couples because you will again be apart of a happy couple.

This ebook even comes with a 60 day guarantee! I was amazed to read that…get your ex back or get your money back, that is an unbelievable guarantee if you ask me. I mean, really, you have nothing to lose with this ebook!

Making Up…The Benefits Can Be Magical

Few would argue that there are more difficult times in our lives than those times when we experience a difficult break up. Whether this is a long or short-term relationship, if we are in love with the other person losing them is hard to accept. In fact, perhaps it is something that we do not necessarily have to accept.

I am not saying that some relationships should not end; even a romantic like me knows that some couples simply are not compatible. But I also know that thousands if not millions of relationships could be saved if a little effort was put forth by at least one of the partners.

I have read the ebook, The Magic Of Making Up and I am sure that book alone could save lots of relationships and probably put some marriage counselors out of business. It is one of those books that gets to the basics of things. I guess you could call it a down to earth or hardcore common sense approach.

The techniques taught in that book are hands on. When an individual is going through a break up they most often experience varying feelings of depression and anxiety. Many people lose their appetite and have difficulty sleepy. Some struggle to get through the days. It seems that hearing songs or seeing places that the couple enjoyed together can bring about extreme feelings of distress.

Although this is normal it is also normal for well intentioned friends and family members to encourage the person in distress to move on with his or her life; to forget about the past and find someone new. This may seem like good advice, and in fact it probably is but when a person is feeling upset over a break up that is not and may not be what they want or need to hear.

Books like the one I mentioned (The Magic of Making Up) can provide the distressed person with benefits such as:

1) Ways to attempt stopping the break up
2) Ways to get the lover back
3) Learning what to say and how to say it
4) Learning what NOT to say
5) How to find out if he or she still cares
6) How to know when to apologize and when not to
7) Ways to trick the ex into thinking you are still together
8) When sex can be counter-productive to reconciliation
9) Learning how to diffuse arguments before they start
10) Learning ways to feel as though time has been turned back for the two of you

Armed with the above information an individual has a much better chance of either getting the ex-lover back and sustaining a healthier relationship from then on out or at least learning what exactly went wrong and hopefully preventing those problems in future relationships.

All of this can be done with an inexpensive ebook, without the hurt, depressed individual needlessly spending a fortune on a counselor. This distressed person is also spared the time investment required for such counseling sessions.

I am not saying that for some people a counselor is not the right choice but I am saying that perhaps self-help should be tried first. A healthy individual may find that they can solve their problems and move forward with the information gathered from an ebook. For others more extensive help may be needed.