Getting Your Ex Back; Putting The Pieces Back Together

If your relationship ended abruptly over something that could have been avoided then you are probably looking for ways to put that partnership back together. But you will need to proceed with caution in order to insure that the same thing will not happen again.

Let us assume that you were involved in a relationship that ended for some reason. Let us also assume that the relationship was one that should not have ended; the break up occurred over some silly argument or disagreement, or perhaps the relationship simply got stale.

But now you and your ex have decided to work things out. You are starting over and you want to do things right this time so you do not have to suffer through another pointless break up.

You should know that there are certain steps and precautions you should take to help guarantee the success of the make up.

1) Be open and honest about what you want from the relationship, including what you want from your partner
2) Be open and honest about what you are willing to do to insure the success of the relationship
3) Discuss in an unbiased way what went wrong with the relationship before; do not make any accusations but address this as if you were on the outside looking in
4) Together come up with ways to strengthen the bonds that you already have and ways to eliminate any friction
5) Become great friends

By discussing honestly what you want or expect from the relationship you are allowing your partner an opportunity to decide if he or she is willing to oblige you. In turn, by clearly and openly stating what you are willing to put into the relationship your partner can determine where he or she really stands.

When you discuss the problems that existed in the relationship prior to and during the break up it is imperative that you do not make any accusations about who was at fault. Instead of accusing your ex of spending too much time at a bar or doing things that you did not approve of you could discuss the fact that you feel you had too much time apart and you would like more structure to the relationship. Of course you will need to be open to what your partner thinks about that. Be careful that this does not turn into an argument.

Consider the things that you have going for you as a couple. This will be specific to each individual couple but an example would be that you have a common interest in art or music. Anything that bonds you as a couple should be considered a strength and those are things that you can build on. For any areas that seem to cause disputes you can possibly come up with a plan about how to best deal with those things or situations. The plan will help you through those times when they happen.

The most important step is developing or expanding on the friendship you have with your partner. It is a fact of life that there will be times that you do not agree with one another and there may be times that you are angry with one another but if you have a strong friendship your relationship will continue. With the friendship will come respect for one another. Mix the love in with that you will have a lasting relationship!