My Apologies

This is a note to apologize and explain why I have not posted for a few days......

My mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in January 2007 - she died on Tuesday, January 12, 2009. I was one of her primary caregivers during her illness.

To be honest, when I wasn't with her during the past six months I was wishing that I was. In reality it was a blessing to see her go because she is now in peace and her pain is gone forever.

Although I am not necessarily a religious person I am very spiritual. I know that my mom is in a better place....but of course that does not take away the hurt I feel because she is no longer with me.

Now you may be wondering what all this has to do with relationships...let me try to explain. During the past year or so I have come to realize more than ever the importance of family and people that we care about. I know that we are never promised the opportunity to see any of our loved ones again so we need to end every visit or phone call with words that convey our love.

My mom's funeral was on Saturday. Ironically my husband's best friend Scott died Sunday morning - he was only 48....Scott was diagnosed with cancer on Tuesday of last week.

Obviously my husband and I are clinging to each other and to our children. We have talked about the importance of family and others that have become important to us. I have always been very family-oriented but I can promise you that this has brought home the importance of keeping my priorities straight.

For the past few months it has been very difficult to keep up with my online writing efforts. I had to limit the assignments I could take on....in fact, my finances are suffering because of it. But life goes on - there will soon be time to write on a daily basis again.

I say 'soon' because this week will be consumed with mourning for Scott but also for a new life. You see, my fourth grandchild will be born tomorrow! So as I move through the cloud of despair I can see bright days ahead.

It seems that my mom's illness and death created a new and stronger bond with my brothers and sister, as well as with my own children, grandchildren, and my husband. In the end my immediate family as well as my extended family has become more united than ever.

I apologize for the hit and miss style of my postings and for this ramble - but please know that I have appreciated all of the kind words and prayers that have gone out for my mom, myself, and for my family. You have shown kindness to a virtual stranger and it means a lot. I will be more consistent with my postings in the future - and I will be accepting writing orders beginning this weekend. I truly am sorry for those of you that I had to decline.

That's all - Thanks for reading this!