Sunday

Online Dating For Adults Can Mean Lots Of Things


If you are interested in online dating for adults chances are you are also interested in wife swaping or swinging. The truth is that it’s not difficult to find other adults interested in the same things, if you know which websites to visit. Of course, some of the typical online dating sites are not really intended for the purpose of suiting the needs of online swingers.
Instead, you will want to find sites that attract open minded individuals – in other words, you don’t want to waste your time at places that don’t appreciate your sense of adventure. Adult Friend Finders is a great place to find like minded people. The good news is that you can easily and quickly find people in your local area that are ready to meet with you for fun and games.

Many people that visit Adult Friend Finders are into such things as threesomes. Others are simply out to find a life partner. And still others enjoy wife swapping. In reality, the website attracts a wide diversity of people, all with one thing in common; they are all open minded sorts that enjoy having fun and meeting new people.
Some may only want an online relationship. After all, to some people, that is exactly what online dating for adults means. You have to decide for yourself what it means to you. And be clear about that when you set up your profile.
It really is important to have some established goals when creating a profile. You also should keep in mind things like just how much you want to reveal about yourself to the online world as a whole. Once you ‘get to know’ an online friend then you can open up and provide more information. In fact, protecting yourself is one of the reasons that it is important to join a well established online dating membership.
Companies like Adult Friend Finder have established a certain level of credibility just by virtue of the fact that they have been in business for so long. If you are the adventurous type why not check them out?

Saturday

How To Improve Your Love Life

Are you looking for ways to spice up your love life? Would like to add more romance or sex to your life? Or maybe your relationship is on the rocks. The good news is there are lots of things you can do to change your current status. Some of it is very easy, in fact, it involves going back to the basics, things you were probably told about life as you were growing up.

Let’s face it, most of us eventually find that our relationships could use a little excitement. When we have a better sex life it affects our relationship in lots of other ways too. It just adds more fun to things and helps to keep the interest alive if we are spontaneous (at least on occasion) and free with our emotions. One way to do this is by planning special romantic events or dates. To keep things simple one could remember the old saying that women fall in love with their ears and men fall in love with their eyes. So what exactly does that mean?

Basically, in general women are often more emotional than men. Now before I get a ton of emails from people telling me about men they know that are extremely open about their emotions or about women that aren’t, I will say it again, ‘in general’ women are more emotional than men. Women tend to get emotionally involved earlier and very often they feel with their heart more deeply sooner in a relationship. Women like to be told how beautiful they are and how much they are loved. Of course, we all know that actions speak louder than words, but women want the words that go along with those actions.

Men fall in love with their eyes. They want things that look good. Now this can mean very different things to different people. What is sexy to one man may not be as sexy to another. We’ve all heard the stereotype of men that never really hear what their female companion says. However, these same men never miss a chance to see their women looking sexy in a revealing outfit worn just for them.

The funny thing is though, men also appreciate words. They like being told the sweet things, the little ‘I love you’s’ as much as they like the dirty talk. In fact, dirty talk can be one way to get a man hot, but only if it’s used correctly. In the same way, you can use some common items from around your home to make sex more fun.

If you would like to learn lots of tips and ideas about ways to enhance your love life please visit http://asexmanual.com/love.html
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Friday

The Complexities Of An Intercultural Relationship

While all relationships can sometimes be difficult to manage, perhaps it is relationships that begin with a pairing of two different cultures that require the most attention care – at least in the beginning, to keep things running smoothly. Have you ever considered the many differences there are between people where you live and people in other parts of the world? In some cases the differences are minimal, but in others they are huge.

And that of course can have a direct impact on a relationship between two people from two different parts of the world. Some of the major differences or concerns relate to such topics as views about women and their role in society.

Other concerns include religion, sex, children and issues surrounding the children. For instance, views about education, discipline, and even the diet they will eat or the language that will be spoken in the home, can be a major issue.

Other topics of concern relate to views about medical care – or rather, the acceptance of medical help and things like what is acceptable in a particular culture when it comes to displaying signs of distress or pain. Some cultures are more concerned than others with the time. In some cultures it is not always acceptable to make eye contact or to shake hands.

This article is not meant to teach about various cultures, but rather to simply provoke thoughts about the increasing number of cross cultural relationships and the bridges that must be laid in order to make those relationships work. Perhaps your dream partner lives in another part of the world. If so, are you willing to do the work required to establish and maintain the relationship that you’ve always wanted?

While you may begin your relationship online, obviously there will come a time that either you will move forward with meeting and solidifying the partnership, or you will make the decision that the relationship does not have the potential to last. But if it is worth working for, where will you live and which cultural traditions will be practiced during the wedding, holidays, and funerals? When it comes to kids, what will happen if the relationship doesn’t work out? Will you be separated from your little ones by an ocean and thousands and thousands of miles?

Intercultural relationships can and do work – and in fact, many of them seem to be happier than others. Could this be because the couple works harder at making the relationship work or is it the differences between the pair that make the relationship as wonderful as it is? I think this is a very interesting topic and I intend to explore it. I will probably dedicate a website to that purpose. Please let me know if you think this topic is interesting!

Wednesday

How to Convince Your Spouse To Work At Saving Your Marriage

When your partner seems minutes away from packing their bags — or you’re living separately already — convincing him/her to save your marriage can seem next to impossible. If you take a step back from the situation, though, you can see that there are realistic options for changing the mind of a spouse who’s about to walk out. Here are some strategies that may get your partner to come around.

Fake it ‘til you make it!

It’s a common strategy for business and other areas of social like, but acting “as if” can work for marriages, too. It works so well because how we act has a major influence both on how we feel and on how others see us. For a while, try forgetting that you have anything but a perfectly blissful marriage and treat your spouse accordingly. Now, that’s not going to be so easy if your partner’s still bitter and liable to pick a fight. Still, you can take advantage of those times when things are going well to try to see your spouse as the person you were deeply in love with when you decided to get married.

Be reasonable!

Whether you want you spouse to join you in marriage counseling or just try out a few tips you picked up from a book, you’ll have more success in winning them over if you don’t push. Threats, guilt trips, and begging are more likely to push your partner away than give you any success convincing a spouse to save a marriage. Instead, use a calm logical approach that taps into the underlying regard you spouse most likely still has for you or at least for the children. Statements like “With everything we’ve invested in each other, don’t you think it’s worth a try to save it?” or “Wouldn’t you rather be able to tell the kids we tried everything?” can help.

Address the problems!

When convincing a spouse to save a marriage, promises to change ring pretty hollow unless you can back them up. If you expect your spouse to believe you’re not going to repeat certain mistakes in the future, give them a real reason. This is especially important if you’ve had an affair or you’re struggling with an addiction. For instance, if you’ve started counseling to resolve an addiction that you’ve never dealt with before, your partner has a reason to believe things will get better.

Take care of yourself!

The stress and low mood marital problems naturally bring about can leave you feeling like you just don’t want to do anything. For your own sake, though, don’t give in to that feeling or you’ll only make yourself feel worse and drive your spouse farther away. Make sure you’re eating right, getting enough sleep, and not cutting corners on personal grooming. Stay on top of your responsibilities like finances and home maintenance.

Convincing a spouse to save a marriage isn’t always easy, but it can be done. The most important thing you need to do is stay calm, stay upbeat, and actively look for solutions to the problems between you. If you need more advice on convincing a spouse to save a marriage consider marriage counselors but don't forget that help can be as close as an ebook on the topic. Check out the sidebar for suggestions.

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Thursday

Life's Lessons, Personality Traits, And Relationships

All throughout life we meet interesting people. Some touch our life briefly and others stay forever. Have you ever wondered why some relationships seem to last and other wither away? In fact, some last only for a moment, others die slowly, and some end abruptly. But what do you gain from those relationships that do not last?

I know there are times that you would claim those people were not worth having in your life because they brought sorrow, stress or trouble. But other people that you have left behind - or that have left you behind, brought good into your life.

If you really consider all things you are likely to say that all people that have impacted your life have done so in a meaningful way. Whether it was for the good or for some other purpose, if you use the interactions as lessons in life, all relationships are meaningful.

I know this sounds corny but it is true, life has a way of presenting us with lessons. Most of those lessons come from people around us. Either we can listen and learn or we can go on making the same mistakes again and again and feeling that we must be missing something. That feeling is usually correct - and what we are missing is an appreciation for what we can be learning along the way.

Personal development works hand in hand with creating a great relationship. If you work at making yourself a better person in whatever way you can you are likely to develop traits that attract others. At the same time you are becoming more self confident in a way that enables you to get more out of life and relationships.

The old saying, "Live and learn" can be used in various situations but when it comes to relationships there may be no truer words. If the relationship is one that you want to last you will need to listen to what life is teaching you about others. Things like honesty and commitment are usually high on the list of important qualifications. These are characteristics that can be learned. The more you practice them the more natural they are to you. The same is true of having positive thoughts. If you make an effort to replace every negative thought with a positive one you are well on your way to becoming a more positive person.

While formal education has its place, the real lessons, the necessary ones can be learned through observance, interpretation, and practice. Life's lessons can be hard but they are always valuable. Take heed, incorporate the needed changes into your life and you as a person and your relationships will benefit!

Wednesday

Music And Your Relationships

Music plays an important role in many of our lives, but does it have an impact on our relationships? Some of us include music daily, whether it is done by listening to our favorite songs and artists on the radio or by creating our own music, or anything in between. It’s no wonder then that we associate the music we are enjoying to what is going on in our life.

Many couples have a song that they call ‘their song’. This may be the song that was playing when they met or perhaps it was on during a special event. The point is that the song itself has significant meaning to the couple. During the happy times of the relationship the song will usually bring about warm feelings and even a renewed sense of love and gratification. But what happens when the relationship is withering away or is gone and the song is heard?

Well, for starters, many people will become sad because the song does invoke memories of a happier or better time in their life. Others may feel anger because the song reminds them of what they are missing and they feel cheated. I think the reaction depends on how special the relationship was and how it ended and on the individual’s personality.

Of course that subject is not quite as complicated as this one; is there music that affects your emotional state no matter what the situation? Perhaps there is a particular song that puts you in a happy or good mood. This could be a song that you associate with your childhood, a special person, or a special time in your life. It could simply be a song that you enjoy so much that you forget everything else for those precious moments and escape from the world around you.

What about songs that have a negative impact on your emotions? They may also remind you of past times or a special person. What do you do with the emotions initiated by these songs?

Remember that your emotional state can have a direct impact on how you communicate and interact with others. This includes your partner. My final questions are, if we know a particular song will cause us to feel sad or angry should we avoid it? And if a song makes us feel good should we listen to it daily to insure that we will have a better day?

Sometimes it’s the little things in life that make the difference. If we surround ourselves with the things we love and enjoy we are bound to be happier. This can include what some may call the small and unimportant things such as fragrances, décor, lighting, inspirational art and accessories, and finally music. When we’re happier we are a better partner and friend. That makes working at these small things important.

Sunday

Dating Can Make You Nervous!

Dates are fun, right? Well they should be but sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves that it is hard to relax and enjoy the date itself.

Let me set the scene for you. You are finally going out on the date that you have been looking forward to. You have planned for this date and you want it to be special. The closer it gets the more nervous you become. You spend a ridiculous amount of thought in deciding what to wear. You worry that something will go wrong before the date is over. Dating can be stressful and nerve-wracking.

Consider this fact, at this point all you have done is prepare for the date. With that stress and nervousness going on it will be hard to enjoy yourself.

Let's talk about this for a moment. First of all this date could be with your longtime partner or it could be with someone you have never met before or even an ex from your past. It really doesn't matter what the exact circumstances are, what does matter is that you are anxious about the date.

Dating should be fun and enjoyable. You need to find ways to relax yourself about the date. Perhaps you could watch a silly movie or listen to some of your favorite music before the date begins. Do something that makes you feel good and eases any tension that you might feel. You could have one drink, but only one. That might be enough to ease some of the stress you are feeling.

You have selected your clothes ahead of time. Obviously you should be comfortable with your choice. You will of course take care with all your personal hygienic needs and anything else that makes you feel better about yourself. Perhaps a little cologne will add a nice touch.

In most cases you will already know where you are going and what you will be doing. That should help you feel a little better about things. You can plan ahead of time for small talk that you can make about where you are going. Never discount the conversation topic of the weather. We all have to deal with the weather.

Now let's talk about your nervousness. Try to determine what is causing your anxiety. Perhaps you are afraid that you and your date will not enjoy your time together. If that is the case then you may decide to end the date a little early. As I said, dating should be fun and enjoyable. If you or your date are not having fun the date can always be ended early.

If you are worried about not having enough things to say to each other then you should prepare ahead of time. Think about things that interest you. Ask your date questions. Almost everyone loves to talk about themselves. Be sure to add interesting comments about yourself as the conversations continue. This is a great way to learn more about each other. Ask open-ended questions and not yes and no questions. That will force a real response from your date. Then you can create conversations around their responses.

To keep things stress free I suggest that you play little games with yourself. For example, before your date you can choose a word that you will use as often as possible throughout the date. Make a challenge to yourself to use that word in appropriate ways as often as you can without your date noticing what you are doing.

This will give you something to focus on besides your nervousness. After a short while you may completely forget about any stress or tension that you felt earlier and realize that you are having a great time.

Tuesday

Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Call You; Use An Underhanded Approach

Getting in touch with an ex is not always easy. It seems that you are between a rock and a hard place; you want to talk to him but you do not want it to appear that you are chasing him or that you are desperate.

I know how it feels after a nasty break up when all you want is to hear the voice of your ex. You are longing to call him but at the same time you do not want to because you do not want to seem as if you are chasing him. But you cannot get him out of your mind! It is a vicious cycle!

You want him to call so badly! Well there is a way to get him to call. But it does take some planning. Do not worry though, this is a simple technique and it works almost every time!

Okay, first of all you need to set up a scenario in which you can thank your ex for something. It can be anything at all. Now this may not be for the person that plays it straight by the books so if that is you then you may want to stop reading now.

I suggest that you come up with a white lie. Okay, I know a lot of you do not want to lie and I do not usually like to lie either, but drastic times call for drastic measures! Your lie can be about flowers, your grass being mowed, your newspaper being brought up to your doorstep, snow being cleaned off your windshield, do you get the idea yet, what I am suggesting here is that you come up with something, anything that is not too major and if at all possible, it should be something that would have been in for your ex to do.

Believe it or not the lie is the hard part. Once you have a convincing lie all you need to do is leave an email, a text message or a voice mail that says you want to thank him. Now you of course want to say a little more than that. You want to be convincing. In your message mention that you were surprised and how much you appreciated what he did, but do not explain what it was; you do not need to be too specific, the point is to arouse his curiosity.

The ebooks listed in the sidebar can provide lots of great ideas related to ways to get your ex to communicate with you - even more than that,they will teach you how to get your ex back into your life permanently. Check them out!

Thursday

Want To Keep Your Relationship Strong; Keep Your Problems To Yourself

A relationship is built around love and trust. Learning when not to talk about problems in the relationship can keep it strong and maintain that trust.

Getting frustrated with the people in your life is natural. As much as we would like to avoid it, it is inevitable that we will sometimes be annoyed or frustrated by something our partner does. Sometimes it is the little things and sometimes it will be bigger issues.

You may find that your partner leaves a coffee cup sitting on the counter each morning. Although you have asked repeatedly the cup is left there daily. Maybe your partner regularly forgets to give you phone messages regardless of their importance.

It could be anything really. Whatever it is about your partner that irritates you, large or small, should only be discussed between the two of you.

It is easy and somewhat natural to call a friend and compare notes about what goes on in your relationship to theirs. However you should be very careful about what you say. Complaining about your partner to someone else can definitely lead to trouble.

Remember that you are talking negatively about the person you love. This is the person that you have planned spending a lifetime with. In order to respect that person you should have regards for how they would feel if they knew what you were saying.

Obviously your mate may not care if you tell a friend about a coffee cup being left out. But there are many issues that he or she might care about. Consider how you would feel if your partner told friends and relatives about some of the little (or big) things that you do that are annoying.

Be sure to sign up for your free report that will show you ways to build a strong and lasting relationship, one step at a time! The sign up form can be found in the sidebar.

I know you are close to perfect but surely there are at least one or two flaws that could be mentioned. Nothing good could possibly be gained from sharing that sort of information with people outside of the relationship. Your friends and family members are probably not qualified to give unbiased opinions. Neither can solve your problems.

So by sharing information about your partner that should not be disclosed you will only create a lesser image of your partner in the eyes of the people you confide in. They may begin seeing your partner in a less than admirable way. This cannot help your relationship with your partner and in the end it could even damage your relationship with your friend.

Surely you can see that the issues should be worked out between the two of you and not be shared with others, unless of course, your partner does not mind you sharing such information. However, most of us would rather not have others know of some of the little annoying habits that we have. After all, we are not in a relationship with those individuals and our habits have no impact on them. Basically I am saying that it is none of their business.

The issues are for you and your partner. Respect the fact that the conflicts and annoyances should be resolved by the two of you. The feelings of your mate should always be a primary concern. Never do or say anything that you know would hurt him or her.





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Monday

Most Difficult Times For Break Ups

A break up is not easy during any time of the year but the devastation seems to be extremely hard to bear during the holidays and special occasions. Knowing what to do and what not to do can help with this difficult phase.

An unexpected break up of a valued relationship can be difficult to deal with at any time of the year. But when the holidays or special occasions roll around the devastation can even be worse.

It seems that during the holiday season you, like everyone else is expected to be happy and jolly. But when your heart is broken this is a difficult thing to do. You may find ways to hide your hurt while you are with others but when you are alone all the pain and gloom returns.

You might even feel some comfort in the fact that during those alone times you are free to cry or shout or whatever it is that helps you deal with the problem. And unless you are really good at hiding your distress you probably have well-meaning friends that want to help you out of that dark place you are in.

They may try to match you up with someone they know or they may simply tell you that you need to forget about the past and move on. This article is not intended to do either of those things. Instead, I want to let you know that most relationships can be repaired.

And you should also know that the holidays can be an excellent time to plan a make up with an ex. But first there are a few things to be considered:

1) Is this relationship worth saving
2) Are you ready for a make up
3) Do you still have a place in the heart of your ex
4) Will your ex consider a reunion of any kind
5) Will a make up last

First of all you need to evaluate the relationship and what you are missing about it. Consider the type of interactions that you had with your ex on a regular basis during the good times of the relationship. If the relationship was abusive in anyway then it should not be a tremendous loss to let it remain in the past. But if most of the relationship was fun and interesting then it is probably worth saving.

Decide if you are truly ready for a make up. Determine if a relationship with your ex is really what you want and if it fits in with who you are at this moment in time. It is possible that you have changed in some way since the break up.

Next you will need to determine if your ex still thinks of you in a special way. Regardless of the way the relationship ended it is possible that your ex is missing you as badly as you are missing him or her.

If you determine that your ex does in fact still care then you will need to come up with a way to communicate with him or her. Depending on the circumstances this may need to start with a text message, an email or a phone call. Next you can hopefully move on to spending some real time with your ex.

That will give you an opportunity to determine if the relationship is viable and if a reunion would last. If you feel that a make up would only last until the next break up then you may be better off avoiding heartbreak in the future and simply remaining friends with your ex. You see, in the end it is you that will need to decide the value of the relationship with your ex and how determined you are to make things work.

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In Relationships Health And Fitness Matter

Marine of the United States Marine Corps runs ...Image via Wikipedia

By incorporating a healthy lifestyle into a relationship the couple will see many advantages. There are easy ways to do this without making a drastic change in your routines.


I am sure I do not need to explain to you how important it is to eat right and stay fit. Few of us have avoided the many health recommendations and advertisements that are practically every where you look. And if you are in a relationship you may have noticed that either you or your partner is more aware of this issue than the other one.

Proper nutrition plays a vital role in keeping one healthy. But if meals are being prepared for one or two people it is often easier to grab something on the run or have a quick snack than it is to prepare a full meal. I completely understand that because I am very guilty of not eating right.

The reasons that your health and fitness matter in a relationship are many. First of all you should always take the best care of yourself that you can. Additionally, you should want nothing less for your partner.

Being healthy will mean that the two of you will be able to do a wider variety of things. And yes, I know that some illnesses are unavoidable but we do owe it to our partner and ourselves to try to maintain our health. A longer life with our partner would not be a bad thing!

So my suggestion is that you and your partner discuss ways to take better care of yourselves. Perhaps you will find that planning meals and cooking together will add a new interest to your life. Or maybe you will find a weight management plan that you both want to practice. Working together to promote your health will result in another bonding experience for you as a couple and you will enjoy the efforts much more than if you do it on your own.

The same is true about fitness. But before I elaborate on this I must say that I am not into physical activities. I enjoy walking and biking and I like to work out. But I have never enjoyed sports. The same is not true of my husband. He loves to play golf and he enjoys playing softball.

Because we have different interests does not mean that we cannot share that time together. My husband will go for walks with me and I have gone to the golf courses with him. I also watch his softball games. Although our activities do not offer a totally shared experience we have found ways to integrate each of our interests.

The benefits are wonderful. I love our walks because it is one-on-one time. We get to enjoy nature while having interesting conversations. The times at the ball fields are fun and exciting. And when I go to the golf course we walk so that I can get more exercise.

With determined efforts to keep the two of you healthy and fit you will find multiple benefits. It is another shared experience that will strengthen your relationship.

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Heal That Broken Heart; Or Get Your Ex Back!

A break up does not have to be the end of a relationship. If the relationship was a strong one to start with a little work, sweat and tears can usually put the pieces back together.

When you hear that song your heart breaks. When you pass by those favorite spots that you used to enjoy together you could just die. And you cannot help but to be envious of your friends that seem to be happy in their relationships. All you want to do is live in the past. You wonder if you will ever find a way to heal your broken heart.

Perhaps it is easier than you think. Instead of moving on and getting over the past there may be ways to fix the problems. What if you could get your ex back; that would solve all the issues you are dealing with now and you could move forward.

I know this may sound like the impossible dream right now but it really does not have to be. Many people have rekindled a dying romance or lost love and you can too. You are probably wondering how to go about that because I know that you have most likely thought of various plans, trying to construct a way of getting that relationship back together.

I am sure that you know there are some relationships that simply are not meant to be. So if you are or were in one of those, the kind that is violent or abusive in someway, consider yourself fortunate to be getting out now and move on. But if your relationship ended over some misunderstanding or due to you, the other partner, or both of you allowing the relationship to go stale then you can bring it back to life again.

You probably owe it to yourself, your partner and the relationship to give it a fair try. And I am sure that by this point you have exhausted everything you know to do. But do not despair. I have found a simple ebook that will put the information in your hands immediately. This book, The Magic Of Making Up, (link in sidebar!)is written in simple terms; it is easy to understand and to use, plus it comes with a guarantee. I thought it was unbelievable that anyone would offer a guarantee on a product like that!

The point of this article is to offer you some assurance that there is life after a break up. Either you will find that the break up was meant to be due to the nature of the relationship, or you will determine that the relationship is indeed worth saving and you can find hope, strength and suggestions to put to use in the ebook I mentioned. Regardless of what you decide, I wish you all the best in your future!

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Sunday

Can This Relationship Be Saved: Make Up, Do Not Break Up

The ending of a relationship can be as devastating as a death. But the good news is that unlike a death there is the possibility of a make up and in many cases the renewed relationship is more beautiful than ever before.

My friend Jody called me yesterday to tell me that her husband Andy is cheating on her. She was so upset I had trouble understanding her through the sobs. I told her I would be right over.

When I got there I found Jody looking as though she had not sleep in days. I felt so bad for her. The house looked as bad as Jody did. I suggested that she go take a shower and that we could go have some lunch. Although I could tell she did not want to she followed my advice and I tidied up a bit while she was in the other room.

Over lunch Jody got back to her old personality. She started telling me about some of the problems that she and Andy had been having. It seems that Andy has been working a lot of long hours. He works in construction and during this time of year he is always busy. Although Jody admitted that she enjoyed the extra money he was making she said that she absolutely hated him being gone so much.

Apparently Jody had been asking Andy not to work so much overtime but Andy said that it was required, that he does not have a choice. That was the beginning of the arguments. Jody said that everything has escalated since then. She blames everything on the fact that Andy is working too much. Jody said that Andy comes home too tired to spend any time with her and that he is not keeping up with any of his responsibilities around the house.

When I asked Jody how she knew Andy was cheating on her she said that he did not come last night until after 10 pm. Andy said that some of the guys from the work site went out for beer after work and he just lost track of time. Jody does not believe him. She said a lot of things last night that she now regrets. She even told him that he should move out. Andy slept in the other room and was gone before Jody got up this morning. So far today he has not answered any of her calls.

Obviously this is a very delicate situation. Jody has made accusations that she really had no basis for. Where this relationship goes from here is in the control of Jody more so than Andy. Andy did not say the negative things to Jody. As far as anyone knows Andy has been a good guy working hard trying to do what he can to make extra money. Perhaps he has slacked with his domestic responsibilities but it seems that some understanding may be in order here.

Jody can either decide that things are over, that she and Andy are breaking up; after all, she told Andy to move out. Or she can decide that she wants to make up. In that case it is going to take some effort and the sooner Jody gets started the better. I recommended The Magic Of Making Up to Jody but another excellent option is Second Chance Romance. You can find more information and links to both ebooks in the sidebar.

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Wednesday

Setting The Mood For Love

Always make your lover the center of your attention. Don't answer the phone or pager while you're with her intimately. If you're married with children, tell them mom and dad need to have their private play time (and then make them honor that). Turn off the TV if you don't want to turn off your woman. Bring home little trinkets for no special reason. A single flower or some chocolates will let her know that you were thinking about her, even when she wasn't with you.

You can also do a lot to set the mood for a woman by stimulating all five of her senses. Some ways you might do this include:

* Play her favorite music, whisper sweet love-talk before, during, and after you make love to her.
* Stimulate her sense of smell with fresh flowers, exotic incense, scented candles, and her favorite cologne.
* Decorate the bedroom as if you were expecting a VIP to spend the night with pictures, ornaments, and candles.
* Create new touches with oils, lotions, and powders.
* Consider making love on satin sheets and then tickle her with feathers.
* Order in a gourmet dinner or buy delectable snacks and feed her by hand.


Click here to read more articles by Dr. Ava to enhance your Love & Sex life

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Tuesday

The Simple Way To Get Your Ex Back

Break ups are part of life. Almost every adult has experienced the heartache and drama associated with a relationship that has ended. Most people learn how to accept that and they move on.

But others are not willing to simply give up – instead they will take every possible opportunity to improve the situation and get the ex back. If that describes you, if you want your ex back then this article can help.

First you need to realize that about 90 – 95% of all breakups can be remedied, but only if the correct steps are taken. Don't worry, you can get all the resources you right here on this site - they will guide you step by step to getting your ex back.

You will greatly benefit from the resources listed here. But for now let us discuss some things you can start doing right away to get reunited with your love.

A basic step you need to take is considering what exactly led to the break up. It is important that you are objective. The point is that you can use this information to learn from whatever the problem(s) was and improve your chances for a make up as well as a stronger relationship when you get back with your ex.

Some relationships end because of one specific event. The breakup may happen suddenly and seem to come from out of nowhere. Other relationships develop problems that escalate to the breakup and some end because of a behavior that your ex did not approve of.

Understanding what led up to the break up will assist you later on. Using that information along with the plans contained in the resources will result in a second chance romance with your ex.

Your next focus will need to be centered on building a stronger relationship so you will not find yourself in this position again. When working on re-establishing your relationship it is not wise to allow yourself to appear needy or to make accusations. Your goal is to have confidence and not cause any new problems.

The resources will provide tips and plans for exactly what to say and when to say it. There are ways to have discussions that will result in your ex feeling that he/she made a terrible mistake and they will desperately want you back. That is a powerful concept in itself!

Whatever you do attempting to make your ex jealous is not the way to get him/her back. In fact, that will give your ex the impression that you have moved on with your life and you are no longer interested. You want him/her to know that you do still care.

Keep in mind that a break up is hard on both partners. Your ex could use a little boost to his/her self-confidence and you can be the one to do that. You will definitely want to talk with your ex and then set up a short 'date' or meeting.
Keeping things brief is important. It relieves pressure from both of you. Don't worry; the resources available in the sidebar will explain in detail each step you should take!

It is true that you may find a way to work things out without the help of the resources offered but do you really want to risk losing your ex forever? It is very easy to make things worse than they already are if you do not know what to do.

You really can get your ex back but the sooner you begin taking those vital steps the more likely it is that it will happen! You can get a FREE report about building lasting relationships by completing the sign up in the sidebar. The specific resources that I spoke of throughout the article can also be found there. The sooner you get started working toward getting your ex back the more likely it is to happen - START NOW!

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Monday

When Your Boyfriend Is Cheating On You With An Online Girlfriend

We're all looking for love but some of us find it in the strangest places. Online romances are becoming more and more common. Even husbands and wives are enjoying online relationships with others but there are times that an online friendship crosses over the line to an online affair.

The Internet has opened up so many new possibilities for all of us; from shopping and banking online to dating online! Finding online romance is not difficult and in some cases it is not harmful to an existing relationship but there are times that those online relationships do get out of hand.

First of all it is important to discover what the attraction is in the online relationship. For some people it is the fact that they are able to communicate with someone that they will never meet in person. Because of that they feel they can say anything at all that comes to mind.

Whether they are being the person they present to others in their life or not we really do not know. The mere fact that they are online in the world of the Internet provides the opportunity for them to be whoever and whatever they want to be.

This provides an outlet for a person that they perhaps cannot get in the physical world. In such cases this type of relationship can actually be a healthy outlet.

But as I said in the beginning, these relationships can get out of hand. Some people tend to get so involved in the online relationship and the freedom that it offers that the real world seems too demanding. In those cases the individual often prefers the online relationship.

A possible solution is a stronger and healthier relationship in the real world. If the individual feels that he can be himself and truly express inner thoughts and feelings freely he is less likely to prefer an online relationship.

Many online relationships have even developed into long term partnerships and marriages. The individuals decide that they have so much in common that they must meet and if all works out the relationship continues. Unfortunately some marriages have ended because one partner or the other has found someone else via the Internet. The Internet has certainly changed the way we live and think!

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Saturday

Things To Do Before Starting A New Relationship Or Renewing An Old One

As human beings we crave the bonds that we feel when we are involved in a relationship. It is a comforting feeling to know that you are loved. But if a relationship is jumped into without any thought or planning it can result in utter turmoil for the partners.

Relationships can add interest and harmony to our life; or they can add drama and complete chaos. It really depends on the nature of the relationship and the commitment of both partners involved. If we approach the development of a relationship as a project that requires planning and step-by-step actions we can create the type of relationships we want. There are some things that should be done before we even start that new relationship or before we renew an old one.

We have all heard that in order to love someone we have to love ourselves first. To go one step beyond that, in order to truly love yourself you will need to really know yourself.

You should be able to define your dreams and goals. You should know what your future overall plans are. You should have a clear understanding of the type of relationship that you want and what your expectations of your partner are.

The reason this information is so crucial before you begin a relationship is that you will need to share this with your partner. And this information should be shared at the start of a relationship, not months or years later.

This article is not about self-development but it is a good idea to work on yourself before you begin a new relationship. Get in touch with the you that lives hidden inside. I am referring to the person that you do not always show to the rest of the world.

By having a genuine understanding of who you really are you will be in a better position to develop a relationship that incorporates that part of you. Although that may not seem important at the onset of a new relationship over time it will become vital to the success of that relationship.

An example is this; an extroverted person meets someone they care about who happens to love to spend time at home. This new person would rather cook dinner and then spend time watching TV, reading, or exploring the Internet than to have a night out on the town. The partner that loves meeting people and all social activities may not mind spending time at home for a period of time. But after a month or two, or even six months he or she will probably be ready to explode from boredom.

By that time the relationship has grown and the partner was never aware of the fact that staying home was an issue. That partner is perfectly content with the way things are going. So at such a point in the relationship a compromise may be a little harder to adjust to.

If in the beginning this issue had been addressed either a compromise would have been reached or the partners may have agreed that they were two very different people and perhaps a friendship would be better than a relationship.

The point is that you should get in touch with your personal desires, values and goals. Then when you meet someone you have to make it a point to learn about what is important to them; even to the part of them that is hiding inside. As you are learning about the new person you will be building a strong friendship. By sharing intimate details of your inner selves you will better be able to determine if a long-term relationship will last.

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Monday

My Apologies

This is a note to apologize and explain why I have not posted for a few days......

My mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in January 2007 - she died on Tuesday, January 12, 2009. I was one of her primary caregivers during her illness.

To be honest, when I wasn't with her during the past six months I was wishing that I was. In reality it was a blessing to see her go because she is now in peace and her pain is gone forever.

Although I am not necessarily a religious person I am very spiritual. I know that my mom is in a better place....but of course that does not take away the hurt I feel because she is no longer with me.

Now you may be wondering what all this has to do with relationships...let me try to explain. During the past year or so I have come to realize more than ever the importance of family and people that we care about. I know that we are never promised the opportunity to see any of our loved ones again so we need to end every visit or phone call with words that convey our love.

My mom's funeral was on Saturday. Ironically my husband's best friend Scott died Sunday morning - he was only 48....Scott was diagnosed with cancer on Tuesday of last week.

Obviously my husband and I are clinging to each other and to our children. We have talked about the importance of family and others that have become important to us. I have always been very family-oriented but I can promise you that this has brought home the importance of keeping my priorities straight.

For the past few months it has been very difficult to keep up with my online writing efforts. I had to limit the assignments I could take on....in fact, my finances are suffering because of it. But life goes on - there will soon be time to write on a daily basis again.

I say 'soon' because this week will be consumed with mourning for Scott but also for a new life. You see, my fourth grandchild will be born tomorrow! So as I move through the cloud of despair I can see bright days ahead.

It seems that my mom's illness and death created a new and stronger bond with my brothers and sister, as well as with my own children, grandchildren, and my husband. In the end my immediate family as well as my extended family has become more united than ever.

I apologize for the hit and miss style of my postings and for this ramble - but please know that I have appreciated all of the kind words and prayers that have gone out for my mom, myself, and for my family. You have shown kindness to a virtual stranger and it means a lot. I will be more consistent with my postings in the future - and I will be accepting writing orders beginning this weekend. I truly am sorry for those of you that I had to decline.

That's all - Thanks for reading this!

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Getting Your Ex Back; Putting The Pieces Back Together

If your relationship ended abruptly over something that could have been avoided then you are probably looking for ways to put that partnership back together. But you will need to proceed with caution in order to insure that the same thing will not happen again.

Let us assume that you were involved in a relationship that ended for some reason. Let us also assume that the relationship was one that should not have ended; the break up occurred over some silly argument or disagreement, or perhaps the relationship simply got stale.

But now you and your ex have decided to work things out. You are starting over and you want to do things right this time so you do not have to suffer through another pointless break up.

You should know that there are certain steps and precautions you should take to help guarantee the success of the make up.

1) Be open and honest about what you want from the relationship, including what you want from your partner
2) Be open and honest about what you are willing to do to insure the success of the relationship
3) Discuss in an unbiased way what went wrong with the relationship before; do not make any accusations but address this as if you were on the outside looking in
4) Together come up with ways to strengthen the bonds that you already have and ways to eliminate any friction
5) Become great friends

By discussing honestly what you want or expect from the relationship you are allowing your partner an opportunity to decide if he or she is willing to oblige you. In turn, by clearly and openly stating what you are willing to put into the relationship your partner can determine where he or she really stands.

When you discuss the problems that existed in the relationship prior to and during the break up it is imperative that you do not make any accusations about who was at fault. Instead of accusing your ex of spending too much time at a bar or doing things that you did not approve of you could discuss the fact that you feel you had too much time apart and you would like more structure to the relationship. Of course you will need to be open to what your partner thinks about that. Be careful that this does not turn into an argument.

Consider the things that you have going for you as a couple. This will be specific to each individual couple but an example would be that you have a common interest in art or music. Anything that bonds you as a couple should be considered a strength and those are things that you can build on. For any areas that seem to cause disputes you can possibly come up with a plan about how to best deal with those things or situations. The plan will help you through those times when they happen.

The most important step is developing or expanding on the friendship you have with your partner. It is a fact of life that there will be times that you do not agree with one another and there may be times that you are angry with one another but if you have a strong friendship your relationship will continue. With the friendship will come respect for one another. Mix the love in with that you will have a lasting relationship!

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Sunday

Making Up Means Never Giving Up!

Some relationships seem to be made of stone, they can weather the most difficult storms imaginable and come through stronger than ever. Where as the same problems or conflicts can completely destroy the less stable relationships. Learn what makes the difference.

Be sure to sign up for your free report on relationships - the sign up form is in the sidebar.

This article is a story about a couple I know and it can give strength to anyone suffering at this moment through a difficult break up. My friends, Tony and Donna had been married for about 15 years when Donna got a phone call from someone named Carrie.

Carrie told Donna that she had been dating Tony for over two years and that she was going to leave her husband so they could be together. Carrie told Donna to check out some of the emails and to check the cell phone records if she needed proof.

This all came as a shock to Donna. Although she had suspected that Tony might be hanging out at the bar a little too often she had never considered the fact that he might actually be having an affair. But Donna checked the emails and phone records as Carrie had suggested and she found more than enough evidence to know that Carrie was telling her the truth.

But Donna is an intelligent woman. She also found out where Carrie lived and so she went over to her home. Carrie was not there but her husband Bill was. Donna told Bill everything. Bill seemed to be very angry and not hurt at all. Donna found out that Carrie worked in the restaurant just down the street from the factory that Tony managed.

Donna waited for Tony to arrive home that evening and he was late as usual. She had all of the evidence to throw at him. But to her surprise Tony did not deny anything. He simply packed a bag and left. That was not the response she wanted. She later made a phone to Carrie to tell her that she had confronted Tony with all the details. Carrie was polite and told Donna that because Bill was now aware of the situation he was moving out of their home.

I am going to leave out a lot of the details here but Tony and Donna were separated for about 8 months. During that time Tony lived with Carrie. But Donna never gave up on the relationship. She kept in touch with Tony regularly.

As we have heard before, the grass is always greener someplace else, but often we find that the someplace else is a nice place to visit but not to live. It seems that is what happened with Tony.

In order to assure that the relationship between Carrie and Tony was truly over Donna insisted in moving, which meant that Tony would have to change jobs. But Tony agreed and they have lived peacefully together ever since. The moral of this story is that if the relationship is built on a strong foundation it can survive some terrible storms! Build yours on friendship for a rock solid foundation.

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Saturday

Tips To A Magical Make Up

Relationships have to be nurtured and cared for if they are to grow and continue to be strong and healthy. But we are only human and we are likely to forget or neglect to provide everything that we should in order to maintain the health of our relationships. Then the couple may break up but if they work at it most relationships can be saved with a magical make up!

Arguments get out of hand and relationships end. One partner or the other proves that they are human and makes a mistake that devastates the other, and the relationship ends. I could go on and on with possible reasons for the ending of a relationship but this article is about how to create the perfect make up, how to get that relationship back on a solid foundation.

My perspectives come from a mix of experience as a psychiatric nurse, research and having lived for more years than I care to document in this article. But I will disclose that I have been married twice and I have always been the go to person for my friends, relatives and past co-workers when they had relationship problems, not to mention that I have raised four children that are now grown.

So you can use my advice alone but I would suggest that you also utilize information from a great ebook that I have found, it is called The Magic Of Making Up, and you can find links to it at the bottom of the article.

I am going to assume that you are in the position of wanting your ex back and you need to find out how or what to do to get them back. Before you do anything else you should take care of you. That is, make sure that you are eating right, sleeping enough, attending to your personal cleanliness as you should, and this includes hair, shaving, and make up, whatever. And do not forget that your home should be tidy as well.

Next you are ready to contrive the perfect make up that is special order for you and your situation. Begin by thinking about your ex. You want to make things special for that person. You may think the perfect way to make up is by sending flowers but if your ex does not appreciate flowers then the effort will be wasted.

Consider things that matter to him or her. Perhaps there is a particular flower that he or she likes. Or maybe he or she adores a particular play, ball team, singer, etc.; in that case maybe you could purchase tickets and plan the most special day, evening around that event, stressing that there are no strings attached. You will need to figure out the person if you are to find your way into his or her heart again.

This will be easy. You probably already know your ex well enough to come up with lots of things that would be special to him or her. Some people are materialistic and some people are not but almost everyone likes to know that another person really cares enough about them to get to know the real person inside. Show them you know that person.

Your goal is to find a way back to that person, if you can score a date of any type you will have some time to be charming and work on asking if you can call in a few days. Do not be pushy. Take things slowly and stress that you know the importance of building a strong friendship to be used as a rock solid foundation for any relationship.

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Friday

Make Up With Your Ex; Get Them Back And Be Happy Again

Relationships are precious. They give us another person(s) to believe in and to believe in us. But when those relationships hit stormy waters we are often left feeling totally alone.

Even if you personally have never had a broken heart I am sure you know someone that has. Broken hearts hurt! There are countless songs and movies about the pain and drama associated with a break up but when one is living through the actual distress those songs and movies do not seem to accurately depict the deep emptiness one feels.

I know because I have lived through such a period in my life. And I have lots of friends that have done the same. But knowing that this is only part of life does not make it easier to bear.

For me finding strength in myself was the key. For others nothing but a make up with the ex will end the feelings of depression. One of my very dear friends, Sammy lived through the stress of his girlfriend breaking up with him.

Sammy called me late one night to tell me that she said she just wanted some space, some time to be away from him and do things with other people. Hearing the sadness in his voice I felt nothing but sorrow. I did not have words that would help but I listened as Sammy sobbed his story to me.

After several minutes of his weeping we talked about what might have gone wrong. It seems that my friend had made it a point to spend every evening with his ex. They were completely inseparable on the weekends. But Sammy said that there had not been any real problems.

The more we talked the more details of the relationship were revealed. It seemed that when his girlfriend wanted to go shopping with her friends Sammy would take her instead. I asked if there was a reason that he did want her to go with her friends and he said that he liked shopping with her.

I think talking about the relationship was helpful for Sammy because a light bulb seemed to be going off. It was as if he was realizing for the first time that maybe he had been somewhat overbearing and perhaps even a bit intrusive in the way his girlfriend wanted to spend her time.

That did not change the fact that Sammy wanted to get his ex back into his life. He asked me for my advice. Although his ex wanted space we came up with a way that he could communicate with her and respect that at the same time. The plan was that Sammy would pour his feeling out on paper and send the letter to his ex.

In this way he was able to contact her indirectly so to speak but he was still able to let her know how he was feeling. Within a two week period Sammy and his ex got back together. He is very happy now and he has a respect for time away from his girlfriend. At least two evenings a week they are not together. Sammy has joined a gym to fill those hours constructively and not only has the relationship strengthened but Sammy is becoming very fit!

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Thursday

The Devastation After A Break Up

We think we are strong people and we will know what to do if and when a tragedy hits home but some of us simply fall apart rather than remembering that we have an inner strength to draw from.

One of the hardest things I have ever lived through is a break up of a relationship that was very important to me. This was many years ago but when I think back on it I can still remember the depression and devastation I felt. You see at the time I was truly in love with this guy.

I thought the relationship was going along fine. I did not realize that there were any problems at all. When Steve told me that he was going out with his friends I never suspected a thing. Steve and I both spent time with our friends regularly so why suspecting anything just never occurred to me.

But then I ran into Frank on a night that Steve had said he was going out with his friends. Frank and Steve were usually together so I asked Frank why he wasn’t with the other guys that night.

Frank was obviously puzzled. Although he did not blatantly lie for Steve he did say that he had simply decided to do other things on this particular night. Because this was a strange turn of events the next day I asked Steve what was going on; I wanted to know if he and Frank had had a disagreement about something.

That was all it took for Steve to tell me what was going on; it was more information than I wanted to hear. Steve told me that he had met someone else recently and had been spending time with her. I felt so betrayed! I was simply devastated and I did not know what to do; all I knew was that I wanted as far away from Steve as possible.

I went through what seems like days of crying and being depressed. I actually lost some weight. I went to bed thinking about my sadness and woke up to face yet another day of being without Steve.

But then something magical happened. A friend of mine told me to take a look in the mirror. She wanted me to acknowledge that I had let myself go. Not only had I lost weight but I had stopped being concerned about my hair or my appearance in general. This was a wake up call she said. My friend told me to take care of me and then I could worry about other things.

I took her advice and then it seems that as if by magic I was able to see things more clearly. Surprisingly Steve was soon calling me asking for forgiveness. This story has a happy ending; Steve and I got back together but only for a short time; I broke up with him soon after the make up.

I think the break up stirred something inside me that I never knew was there before. I will never forget my friend that taught me to look at myself and then to move forward. She had said that no one can love us if we do not love ourselves first! She was so right!

And that come back from total devastation not only led to the make up between Steve and me but also to a new internal strength that I have held onto for all these years. Break ups are hard and make ups can be wonderful but if you do not learn to rely on your own inner strength it is unlikely that you will find true success and happiness with yourself.

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Wednesday

Making Up: My Husband Found The Secret In A Book

Disclaimer: This article is based on a true story - but the names and some details were changed to protect the identity of the people involved. It is also loosely related to my own experiences.

Sometimes a relationship starts out perfect and without warning it seems to grow cold for no apparent reason. Time, responsibilities and day to day activities have a way of taking a toil on a relationship over time, that is why a relationship must be nourished. Like a precious rose, it needs lots of care and love if it is to stay at the best it can be.

After 17 years of marriage things were falling apart. My husband Charlie just was not the same person I had met so long ago and I am sure I had changed a great too. As a matter of fact, I think I was even more different than he was. In reality we had simply grown apart.

Charlie had his interests and I had mine. Our children were getting older and seemed busy with their friends and school and not so reliant on us any longer. It just seemed that things were crumbling all around us.

Our friends thought we lived the perfect life. Charlie and I both had good jobs and nice incomes. We lived in a nice suburb and we each drove a nice car. The American dream, except that neither one of us was truly happy with our marriage anymore.

But what was even more distressing was that we could not put our fingers on what it was that we were not happy about. We knew that we still loved one another but that love seemed stale. When we went out to eat it seemed that other couples were having meaningful conversations while ours was focused on necessary talk.

Charlie would ask me about the bills and I would tell him about what was going in the life of the kids as well as trying to catch him up on any maintenance around the house that he may not be aware of. We may or may not exchange work-life summaries.

Soon there came a time that we fought over everything. And shortly after that I asked Charlie to move out. He quickly agreed.

Fortunately, Charlie had the wisdom about him to look for ways to keep our marriage together. And he found it! Where he found is surprising, he found it in an ebook! It is called, The Magic of Making Up. You can check out more information about that book in the sidebar. If you are in a troubled relationship it could help you repair it and move forward. This book gave Charlie lots of great ideas about what he could do to get me back. I am so grateful to that book!

The really cool part is that after Charlie moved back in he shared the book with me. This book has some awesome information in it. I think it can help any couple that is in trouble. You should check it out.

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Tuesday

Getting Past The Break Up And On To The Make Up!

After a break up of a relationship many people long for what they had back again. The good news is that in almost every situation, if the relationship is worth saving it can be saved. But the reconciliation cannot happen overnight.

You know the story, you feel the pain. You know the relationship had problems but the break up came as a surprise. It happens millions of times a day. Few people make it through life without getting their heart broken at least once, or twice. But where do you go from here, you know you need to move forward somehow.

First of all I am not writing this article for people that were in no-win situations or relationships that were abusive in anyway. But for people that lost out on love perhaps due to a simple misunderstanding that escalated to a major ordeal, or for people that let a great thing go stale; this article may hold some great advice for you.

So if you fall into one of those categories then you definitely need to keep reading. The first thing you need to do is take care of you. Yeah, I know that sounds like boring advice but it is constructive advice. Go take a look in the mirror and ask yourself the following questions:

1) Do you need to take care of any personal hygiene chores
2) Do you need a hair cut
3) Have you lost or gained weight since the break up
4) Do you have bags under your eyes from loss of sleep
5) Are you taking less care in your general appearance (clothing, make up, etc.)

If you answered yes to any of those questions then you need to address those issues right away. I am serious. I know that you have heard that no one can love you until you love yourself; so go show yourself some love!

Next you should take a look around your immediate environment. Ensure that you have not let your home become a wreck during your painful times. It is common for people to not only lose interest in caring for themselves during sad phases of their lives but also to lose interest in taking care of pets or their homes. Get things in order so that you are ready to move forward.

At this point you should be feeling better about things. As a matter of fact, some people decide that they feel so good they want to leave the past behind completely. But if that does not describe you then you are in a good position to work on the making up process.

The ebook "The Magic of Making Up" has saved thousands of relationships. I am sure you will find valuable and useful advice that will help you through this difficult phase - check out the sidebar for more information. I wish you all the best!

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Saturday

Memories Of Better Times Can Aid In Creating A Make Up That Lasts; 5 Easy Tips!

Times change and so do people which means that relationships evolve over time. Sometimes the evolution goes smoothly as the people involved seem to change and grow together but other times it seems that one partner may be left behind. The good news is that there are ways to get back what was there in the beginning.

Whether you were married, engaged, living together, or just a happy couple, if things ended there were probably some clues that the relationship was going sour. Oftentimes we miss those little signals; perhaps we simply decided to ignore them or maybe we really do not see them, but most of the time in retrospect we discover that they were there.

Consider how the relationship changes from the first encounters to what it is or was at the end. Many times couples will say that in the beginning things were different. They may say that they had less stress and more time to spend doing the fun things in life.

Some couples will say that over time they simply grew apart, with each partner having his or her own interests that the other did not share. Other culprits are age, time, and finances. Aging has a way of changing the things that we find interesting or even necessary. When time is restricted we find that we must make choices about what or how to use the little free time that we have. In prior times if time freedom was not an issue then these choices were not so important. And we all understand that limited funds can mean limits in other areas in our life.

These are some of the basics for a relationship going stale. But other couples survive all of the mentioned problems and for some it seems that with each new element of hardship come a stronger bond between the pair. Instead of the relationship going stale it seems that the couple finds their strength in one another.

So let us now get back to you and your recently dissolved relationship. If your goal is to make up with your ex then I suggest that you go back in time to the beginning of your relationship. Try to discover what made the first spark between the two of you. Consider how things were then and contrast that to how they ended up. Then fill in the gap. Think about all the things that may have led to the changes in the relationship.

After that consider ways that the negatives can be taken out of the equation. Decide if you believe it is possible to get back a healthy relationship. Consider if you are willing to do what will be required to get there.

Then it is time to develop a make up plan. Keep in mind that making up is only as wonderful as the relationship will be. Making up and going through another break up is not what you need right now. You and the relationship itself need a fresh start. You will need to consider if you believe it is possible to achieve that and if so you need to create and implement that make up plan.

Be sure that your plan includes the following:
1) Taking care of you
2) Taking the past into consideration
3) Respecting the wishes of your partner
4) Finding ways to recapture what was lost from the early days of the relationship
5) Building the future on a solid foundation of friendship first

This should get your plan off to a good start. But remember, number one on the list is taking care of you. Get yourself in order before you take on anything else. You will then be better equipped to give it all you have got! Good luck!

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Friday

Partners Come As A Package Deal

Okay, so you meet this wonderful person that you are totally head over heels in love with. You begin developing a strong relationship built on friendship. You want your friendship to be a priority because you know that will give the two of you strength during difficult times.

Friends play a very important role in our lives. We choose our friends because we enjoy having them in our life. They are the people that we turn to when we are down and out. We trust them to be honest and supportive when we need them. But we also know that it takes a friend to keep a friend.

Obviously you and your partner will have friends from earlier times when you meet. And over the course of your relationship you will introduce your mate to your friends and you will meet the friends of your partner. You will most likely find that you like the people your partner considers friends but do not be surprised if one or two seem to be an odd fit.

You may wonder why your partner cares for that person. The good news is that you do not have to love those people that your mate calls friends, in fact, you do not even have to like them. But, and yes there is a but, you will need to accept them.

Keep in mind that your significant other may not be thrilled with all of the people that you have chosen as friends. But also consider how you would feel if you were asked, or worse, you were told, not to be friends with them any longer. Of course you would be upset and rightly so.

Ideally both you and your partner will continue to maintain your individual friendships with others as you build mutual friendships. Being involved in a relationship should not necessitate giving up your friends.

Find ways to integrate your friendships with others into your relationship. Consider things like having both sets of friends over for a party or an outdoor meal. By adding and combining friendships you will have more options available to you as a couple when you want to do things with others.

It is true that some people can be a problem in a relationship. For instance, if you are a very jealous person it may bother you that your partner has friends of the opposite sex. If this is an issue you will need to discuss it openly with your partner. However, it is unfair to expect that the friendship be given up.

But on the other hand, you should not be expected to live with a situation that you are uncomfortable with. The solution is a compromise. Perhaps you are really okay with the friendship in question but not okay with some aspects of how your mate relates to that person. Open and honest discussions can resolve such matters.

Your relationship should come first but neither you nor your mate should ask the other to give up friends. By working together you will be able to finds ways to incorporate outside friendships into your relationship and you will be better off for it.

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Thursday

5 Easy Steps To Getting Your Boyfriend Back

It may have been your fault, maybe you cheated maybe you were admittedly not the kindest person that you could have been to your boyfriend and now he has left you. And you never thought you would take it as hard as you are but now you realize just how much you had.

Do not worry and do not give up hope that the relationship is completely over. First of all if the relationship was a solid one at all then it is worth putting back together. But you are going to have to do some work before you can begin that process.

Essentially there will be 5 steps to getting your boyfriend back:

1) You will need to carefully evaluate the relationship as it was
2) You will need to consider precisely (to the best of your knowledge) what went wrong
3) You will need to decide if you are willing to make the efforts required to get the relationship back on track
4) You will need to determine where you stand with your ex
5) You will need to develop a plan that is built around creating the type of relationship that both of you desire

If you noticed, each of those steps started with something that you will need to do. In other words this is going to take work and effort. So if your heart is not in this then you should let it go now.

I probably should have mentioned that it is essential that even before you begin with step one that you take a good hard look at yourself. The reason I say that is because after a break up many people tend to let themselves go. They may have poor eating habits which can lead to weight loss or gains and sometimes they even tire of personal hygiene routines.

It is important that you keep in mind that you must take care of yourself before you attempt to repair a broken relationship. If you do not you will find that you are trying to do two things at once and the work will be doubled.

If after evaluating your relationship you decide that it is one worth saving then you should move on to step two. At that point you need to consider what went wrong. Do your best to be unbiased. In relationships most problems can be contributed to both partners to some degree.

Consider what changes you can make to create a better relationship and decide if you can live with those changes on an ongoing basis. You really do not want to repeat another break up in a few months from now because you are tired of the change!

Determine if your ex is interested in repairing the relationship at all. If not then this will take a lot of effort. It does not mean that the relationship cannot be repaired but it does mean that you will have to work a little or a lot harder to repair the damages.

Then when you and your ex decide to work things out the two of you need to decide together what would make your relationship one that is stronger and more wonderful than before. Anything worthwhile is worth planning. Take your time and do it right. I always suggest that you build a relationship on a foundation of friendship because during hard times that friendship will hold you together.

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Tuesday

Empty Nest And Beyond

After years of child-rearing couples find that there comes a time in life when the children move out to establish a life of their own. This can be a confusing time for parents. Of course they want their children to grow but at the same time this means the couple will have to make some adjustments in their relationship.

A common realization for couples when their children begin moving out is that they will soon be alone together. For some couples this may be the first time in their relationship that they will not have to address the issues of raising children. For others, it has been so many years ago that they had any time without children that it will seem like the first time.

Although this is a time that couples look forward to and work for there is usually some apprehension about how things will be once the household consists only of the two of them. This is especially true of couples that have lost touch with each other over the years.

It seems that the responsibilities of children, work, a mortgage and life in general often take center stage. This is unavoidable at times and when those things take over more often than they should it is easy to forget that your focus should be on your partner.

So many couples are faced with the dilemma of how to relate to one another when they feel much of the closeness that they once had is now gone. Just as with anything else, planning will make this transition easier. Plan ahead, you know that this time will inevitably happen sooner or later.

You should discuss plans with your partner. There may be some interests that the two of you put on hold during the time you were focused on raising kids. If so this is the time that you should plan to rediscover that interest or hobby. Plan an activity that the two of you can enjoy together.

Now I am not suggesting that because the children move out that you and your partner should spend every minute together, far from it. Actually you will now have more time available for your partner as well as for yourself.

Along with renewing old interests in hobbies from the past consider new things to do together. The reason this is important is that spending time together on an enjoyable activity will help to renew the relationship and build a new bond between the two of you. It will give you an activity to talk about together and quality time to spend together.

During this exciting phase of your relationship you should rediscover yourself and your spouse. Build on what you have and improve it! Things will only get better.

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